


Sir, Spare Your Threats

by Singofsolace



Series: CAOS Shakespeare AU [2]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018), Winter's Tale - Shakespeare
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Lilith/Satan (in the past), Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Zelda Spellman/Faustus Blackwood (in the past), shakespeare au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singofsolace/pseuds/Singofsolace
Summary: When Director Mary Wardwell unexpectedly quits only one week into the rehearsal period of Shakespeare's "The Winter's Tale," Lilith steps in to take her place. The project should be a great experience... if only her leading actors weren't the recently-divorced power couple, Zelda Spellman and Faustus Blackwood. This results in a very dangerous environment, because even though Zelda is trying to keep things professional, Faustus just won’t let her go. Lilith fears for her actress’ safety, despite the fact that Zelda assures her that it’s not a problem. The script calls for Leontes to be a jealous, raving lunatic, so surely Faustus is just committing himself to his role…?Add to that the unwelcome presence of Lucifer Morningstar, an abusive ex-lover Lilith thought she'd left far in the past, and the show is sure to be a disaster. Can Lilith and Zelda help each other through this difficult time, or will their shared experiences only drive them further away from one another?Madam Spellman Shakespeare AU, as promised.





	1. A Sad Tale

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all of my Madam Spellman and Shakespeare lovers! Here are a few housekeeping things so no one is especially confused: In this AU, Judas and Leticia are six years old, but all of the other characters are the same age as they are in the show. Constance Blackwood still died giving birth to the twins, and then Faustus and Zelda married shortly after her death, which means that they were married for about five-and-a-half years before a very messy, public divorce. Both the Spellmans and the Blackwoods are famous families, with well-established legacies in show business. (Think of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, or for my younger folks, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie)
> 
> Even if you haven't read or seen The Winter's Tale, I think this story should be pretty easy to follow. I will try to balance showing and telling with that respect. Here is my own, very short summary of Winter's Tale (feel free to skip it if you already know the story, or if you think you can figure things out without the background info): 
> 
> Leontes and Hermione are the King and Queen of Sicily, with a six-year old son, Mamillius, and a baby on the way. Leontes begins to suspect that Hermione has cheated on him with his best friend, Polixenes, King of Bohemia, even though he has *absolutely no proof*, and no reason to doubt his wife's honor or virtue. But Leontes is wild with jealousy, and publicly accuses Hermione of adultery, which, if convicted, would mean she would get a death sentence. While she's awaiting trial in prison, Hermione gives birth to her daughter, Perdita. Paulina, Hermione's best friend, brings the baby to Leontes, thinking that if he just looks at the child, he will know that it's his, but Leontes orders the baby to be killed instead. Luckily, his lords all think he's crazy, and Antigonus winds up smuggling the baby into the countryside. (The famous "Exit pursued by a bear" stage direction results in the baby being abandoned and left to die anyway...but I digress). Perdita is rescued and raised by peasants. Back in Sicily, Hermione is put through a public trial, despite the fact that she literally just gave birth, and barely has the strength to stand. The Oracle at Delphi is supposed to decide her fate, and does indeed proclaim that she is innocent, but Leontes wants her killed anyway. Then news comes that Mamillius has died, because he was so stressed out by his mother's predicament, and so Hermione collapses, and is later announced by Paulina to be dead, too, in one of the greatest speeches ever written for a woman: "What studied torments, tyrant, hast for me?"
> 
> That's just a summary of the first three acts, but it's really all the background that will come into play in this story. If you have any questions, please post them in the comments and I'll answer them! Please, please, let me know what you think of this fic, and tell me whether or not you think I should continue it.

_Wild Card, Lilith Demos, Replaces Esteemed Director of the Hudson Valley Playhouse’s_ Winter’s Tale _, Following Wardwell’s Nervous Collapse_

In any other circumstance, Lilith might have rejoiced at a project such as this falling so unexpectedly into her lap. The cast was star-studded and likely to drum up huge sales. The location was idyllic, with a mesmerizing view of the Hudson Valley. The producers were offering her _twice_ what she would expect to be paid for directing regional Shakespeare, and she hadn’t even had to apply for the position; she was stepping in for a woman named Mary Wardwell, who had apparently suffered a nervous breakdown and quit after just a week of rehearsals. Lilith couldn’t imagine passing up an opportunity like this to work with such high-profile actors on a piece as engaging as _The Winter’s Tale_. It really was a _perfect_ job, on paper.

If only her leading actors hadn’t just come out of a nasty, excruciatingly _public_ divorce.

_Spellman vs. Blackwood_ would go down in infamy as one of the most memorable divorce cases in recent history. The press had had a field day with it, milking the story for all it was worth. After all, it wasn’t every day that a beloved and critically acclaimed actress battled an equally famous actor for custody of her stepchildren.

While Faustus was a talented and powerful actor in the industry, it didn’t surprise Lilith one bit that he was also a terrible choice for a husband. She had heard horror stories about his mercurial nature and his dark moods that tended to play out onstage. There were whispers in her theatre circle that he believed that women should not be directors, and so he was especially difficult whenever he was forced to work with one.

Perhaps Mary Wardwell, her predecessor, simply didn’t have what it took to handle that kind of misogyny on a daily basis. Satan knew Lilith had no tolerance for it, and planned to make it very clear to Faustus that he ought to get over his prejudices immediately if they were to be working together.

What worried Lilith the most, however, wasn’t Faustus’ temper, but the fact that the cast of _Winter’s Tale_ was made up almost entirely of the Spellman and Blackwood family members. The producers had explained to her that the casting decisions had been made with the hope that this production would be a reality-tv level goldmine for the theatre, and pay for many seasons to come. Certainly, once the press had received the casting notice, there was no end to the free marketing and publicity. No one could believe that Zelda Spellman would agree to work with her ex-husband after she failed to gain full custody of her stepchildren in the divorce, let alone that her extended family would also join the cast in supporting roles.

It was hard for Lilith to believe herself, though she knew that the producers were paying everyone handsomely for their troubles. It could all just be a matter of money, though she doubted that an actress of Zelda Spellman’s caliber could ever be bought with such _dirty_ money, when surely, she knew that the producers would be profiting off her pain?

It left a bad taste in Lilith’s mouth, but there was nothing to be done about it. If the producers wanted a cash cow, then by all means, she would give them one. She just hoped the paparazzi wouldn’t distract from the actual artistic work they were creating. As it was, she had had to beat her way through a crowd of cameras just to get into the theater.

“All right, you lot,” said Lilith, looking around at her actors, who were seated in the audience of the otherwise empty theater. “I know this production has gotten off to a rough start, but I’m here to make sure the show goes on without a hitch.”

Lilith heard a scoff towards the left side of the group.

“Mr. Blackwood, do you have something to say?”

Faustus eyed her with derision. “Oh, I have plenty to say, but you wouldn’t want to hear it.”

“ _Dad_ ,” said a young boy, who couldn’t be more than six years old. _This must be Judas, then,_ Lilith thought. His twin sister, Leticia, sat to his right, fiddling with the early pieces of her costume. Due to child labor laws, the casting director had contracted both children to play Mamillius, the Prince of Sicily.

“You think you can step in and save a doomed project? Fine. But the producers are going to have hell to pay for putting us all up to this farce.”

Lilith saw several cast members shift in their seats. Clearly, this was a sore subject for many of them.

“You signed a contract, Faustus,” said Lucifer Morningstar, who would be playing Polixenes.

Lilith’s stomach flipped. She and Lucifer had dated for four years when they had just graduated from college, but the relationship had been a toxic one, and she’d made it a point to avoid working with him ever since. Agreeing to do this project had come with the knowledge that she’d have to see his devilish smile again, but she was certain she could handle it. Over twenty years had passed since those days, and though she could never forget what it felt like to be under his control, she was certain she had the strength to face him, now.

“I agree it’s an…unconventional cast list, but you could have refused,” continued Lucifer, but when he said it, he wasn’t looking at Faustus—he was looking at her. Lilith stared right back, refusing to be the first one to break eye contact.

“Unconventional? It’s practically incestuous,” said Ambrose Spellman, a stand-up comedian who would be playing the Clown, whom Lilith recognized from the tabloids. He was always stirring up trouble in Hollywood, which resulted in him spending a lot of time in and out of prison for minor offenses. Lilith was surprised that he would take time off from his comedy circuit to do a production of Shakespeare in New York.

“Ambrose, please,” said Hilda Spellman. Lilith could already imagine hearing: _what studied torments, tyrant_ … filling the theater. It was a truly inspired decision to cast Zelda’s lesser-known sister in the role of Paulina, even if the casting director had an ulterior motive that was not at all talent-based.

Placing a hand on her nephew’s arm, Hilda continued, “You know the producers were going for a ‘real’ family angle.”

Lilith had to bite her tongue at that _. Yes—so long as the “real” family was famous and worth their weight in gold._

Sabrina Spellman, a spoiled child star if there ever was one, pulled a face. “I don’t see why they think casting a ‘real family’ will change anything. It’s not like I’m even Auntie Zee’s _real_ daughter.”

Silence fell in the theater, as everyone pointedly looked away, in case Zelda Spellman reacted poorly to that comment. But Zelda just sat quietly, clutching the long scarf around her neck with a white-knuckled grip. Her chin quivered slightly before she straightened in her seat. Lilith didn’t have to imagine her as Queen of Sicily; she already radiated regality.

“Oi,” said Hilda, turning to her niece. “Show some respect to the woman who raised you.”

Lilith took a deep, steadying breath. Was this why Mary Wardwell had run for the hills? Was the cast so uncooperative, nothing could get done? She wasn’t about to tolerate domestic squabbles in her theater.

“Look, as Mr. Morningstar said, we’ve all signed our contracts. So, let’s make the best of it, shall we?”

There was a murmur of agreement from the cast, but Lilith had eyes only for Zelda, who had remained remarkably silent through all of the unpleasantness. The stoic woman didn’t show any sign that she agreed, or even that she was listening, besides the stiffness of her spine.

“Ms. Spellman?”

Zelda’s eyes were sharp, but tired, when they met Lilith’s gaze. Her long red hair had been flat-ironed so that it fell in a straight curtain down her back and in front of her chest. Lilith mourned the loss of the wavy curls that she remembered from the last time she saw the woman in London (in a riveting production of _A Doll’s House_ , which earned Zelda an Olivier Award) but caught herself in the middle of that thought. It was deeply unprofessional to be thinking of her leading lady in that way. Zelda could style her hair however she pleased—or rather, she could style it however the hair and makeup designers decided.

“Would you and our young Mamillius care to start us off with Act II scene i?”

Zelda’s eyes blinked twice before she nodded. When she stood, she did so slowly, carefully, with her script tucked under one arm, and it was only then that Lilith began to wonder if her leading lady might be ill. She was moving sluggishly, as if it were a considerable effort just to stand, and she had yet to speak.

Judas, in contrast to Zelda’s slow pace, moved as fast as a bullet, beating his sister to the punch. He launched himself from his seat, ran to his stepmother, and grabbed her by the hand. Lilith refrained from smiling at the enthusiastic boy as he tugged Zelda up the stairs, onto the stage, because Satan knew she needed to keep up her reputation as a “shrew,” and couldn’t afford to let her actors see her softer side, _especially_ if the cast was going to be as difficult as their discussion had just implied.

“Prudence? Agatha? You too, ‘Ladies.’ And Faustus, we’ll have you wait in the wings, stage right, with your Lords.”

There was a general mumble of compliance as everyone got on their feet, with scripts in hand. The producers had informed Lilith that Mary Wardwell had managed to block the first two acts before abandoning the project. Lilith was eager to see what she was working with, and how much damage control she’d have to do.

“Whenever you’re ready,” said Lilith, nodding to Zelda to begin.

Zelda Spellman sat center stage, using a black box for a chair. She smiled as Judas pulled on her hair, climbed up her back, and slung his arms around her neck. Zelda then made a show of placing her hand on her belly, which would soon be fitted to have padding to make Hermione appear nine months pregnant. The boy nearly kicked her stomach in all of his rough-housing with his mother, and so the Queen said:

_Take the boy to you: he so troubles me,_

_'Tis past enduring._

Zelda’s voice filled the theater with ease. Lilith wasn’t surprised. She had seen Zelda perform before, and had never doubted her ability to project into the large, empty space. A shiver went down Lilith’s spine. Zelda was putting on a very deep and melodic voice to play Hermione, and it was having a surprising, if incredibly unwelcome and highly distracting, effect on the director.

Prudence, playing the First Lady, moved to help disentangle the boy from the Queen:

_Come, my gracious lord,_

_Shall I be your playfellow?_

Judas refused to allow Prudence to take him, and instead climbed into Zelda’s lap, pulling on her scarf as he said to the First Lady:

_No, I'll none of you_ _!_

Well, that blocking needed to change. Judas would never be able to fit in Zelda’s lap when a pregnancy belly was there. And so, the scene continued, with Lilith making mental notes of what to change and what to keep. It wouldn’t do to change too much, since they had already lost of week of rehearsal.

It wasn’t until Faustus entered the stage that she was struck by a sense of foreboding. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was as if the energy in the room and on the stage had completely shifted from the warm, domestic scene it had previously been to something…else. When he went to take Judas away from Zelda, it felt like the cast, both onstage and in the wings, were collectively holding their breaths.

_Give me the boy: I am glad you did not nurse him:_

_Though he does bear some signs of me, yet you_

_Have too much blood in him._

Zelda clutched Judas to her like her life depended on it, her voice gone slightly higher in Hermione’s confusion:

_What is this? sport?_

Faustus turned to his Lords, all fine, young, strapping men:

_Bear the boy hence; he shall not come about her;_

_Away with him! and let her sport herself_

_With that she's big with—_

One Lord grabbed Judas and wrenched him from Zelda’s arms; the other forced Hermione to stay seated while the boy was taken away, the actor’s hands heavy on her shoulders as she struggled to break free. But it was Faustus who had Lilith’s attention, as he advanced on Zelda with nothing but malice in his eyes and said:

_—for 'tis_ Polixenes

_Has made thee swell thus._

He spat the name “Polixenes” as if it were a curse, and brought his hand to Zelda’s stomach. He pushed it hard into the fabric covering her abdomen on the word “swell,” and Lilith almost called for the scene to stop when Zelda flinched back into the actor behind her, who was still pinning her in place by the shoulders.

Was the flinch for the audience’s benefit, or was it real? Was Faustus really hurting her, or had Mary Wardwell directed them to do it this way? As the scene continued, Lilith got more and more worried that she was bearing witness to something dark and twisted—and not entirely just because it was what Shakespeare had written.

She would have to speak with both Zelda and Faustus, Lilith thought as she watched Faustus rant and rave about the supposed affair Hermione had had with Polixenes, while Hermione insisted that she was innocent. It wasn’t the blocking that made this scene difficult to watch; it was the way Zelda’s eyes were shining with fear and panic, rather than righteous indignation at being falsely accused of a crime.

Yes, she would have to speak with Zelda, because that look was one she had seen in her own mirror, in a life that seemed so far away, though it grew closer by the minute as Lilith caught sight of Lucifer’s smirking face in the wings.

He was watching her. Why was he watching _her_ , when every other actor in the theatre seemed fixated on Faustus and Zelda? Nausea settled in her stomach when Lucifer winked at her before disappearing behind a curtain.

What on earth had she gotten herself into?


	2. Cut My Lace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith has an entertaining conversation with Leticia Blackwood. Faustus is consumed with jealousy. Zelda doesn't trust anyone, least of all Lilith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets intense. While there is no actual violence depicted, it is implied. The situation has to get worse before it gets better, but trust me, it will get better!
> 
> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think! Sharing your thoughts helps keep me motivated to write more.

After eighty minutes of work, the actors were entitled to a ten-minute break, per Equity guidelines, so, while Lilith didn’t really feel the need to break up the flow of the rehearsal so soon, she had to abide by the union’s rules. She decided to spend her ten-minute break in the garden behind the theater, which had a breathtaking view of the valley below, though she couldn’t quite see it in all of its majesty from where she sat on a bench, sipping lukewarm coffee and making notes in the margins of her script.

“Miss Lily?” said a small voice to her left.

Leticia was struggling to climb onto the bench beside her. Lilith, though never very fond of children, gave her an approximation of a smile, and helped lift her up onto the seat beside her.

“My name is Lilith, dear. Lil-ith.”

“Miss Lil-if,” said Leticia, confidently, and Lilith didn’t have the heart or the patience to correct her again.

“Close enough.”

“Can I ask a question?” The six-year-old’s eyes were big, brown, and trusting. How wonderful to be a child, Lilith thought, and expect adults to have an answer to everything.

“Of course.”

“When is the baby coming?”

Lilith nearly choked on her coffee. “What!?”

“Mama’s baby.”

“Oh? _Oh_.” The realization that Leticia was talking about _Hermione’s_ baby took longer than it should have. “You mean Perdita? Your mother isn’t actually having a baby, Leticia. It’s just pretend.”

“But then where will the baby come from?”

“It’ll be a fake baby. Like a doll. Do you have dolls?” Lilith really didn’t interact with many children, but this seemed like a fair question to ask.

“I don’t like dolls.”

… Perhaps not.

“What do you like to play with, then?”

“Swords.”

Lilith tried to keep the surprise from showing on her face. “Swords? That’s...fun!”

“Wait!” Leticia shouted, unexpectedly, standing up on the bench and nearly knocking Lilith’s script out of her hands in her excitement. “Is Mama going to have a _sword_ instead?!”

“No... no. Hermione doesn’t have a sword.” Lilith took a deep, steadying breath. She really wasn’t cut out for entertaining a child. “She _is_ getting a baby, but it won’t be a real one.”

“That’s silly. Everyone else is real. Why isn’t the baby real?” Leticia’s pout was equal parts adorable and frustrating.

Lilith should know better than to try and appeal to a six-year-old’s logic, but she still made a feeble attempt as she said, “Babies cry a lot. They wouldn’t like being in a play, not like you do.”

“But I _don’t_ like it!”

That was certainly news. There were plenty of child-actors whose parents forced them into showbusiness, she was sure, but Judas seemed to be having the time of his life. Was Leticia truly unhappy being a part of the show?

“You...don’t?”

“I don’t like that my Mama looks scared all the time,” said Leticia, very quietly, as if she wasn’t sure she was allowed to say these words out loud. Her eyes were wide and wet and held way too much knowledge for a girl of her limited years. Lilith felt completely out of her depth, now, whereas before she felt simply…inadequate.

“Of course not,” Lilith said, settling on the most diplomatic answer that occurred to her, “but it’s all _pretend_ , Leticia.”

“It doesn’t look pretend.”

Satan, this child was going to kill her with these terribly astute observations.

“That’s because your Mama is very good at what she does.” At least, that was what Lilith sincerely hoped. “Speaking of which, where are your mother and father? Why are you out here alone?”

Leticia at least had the sense to look guilty at that. “Daddy told me to stay inside but I followed him because _he_ was following _Mama_ and I wanted my Mama. But then I saw you and remembered my question!”

“Well—”

Just then, a shout could be heard through the garden. 

_“Stop!”_

Lilith thought it sounded suspiciously like Zelda, and Leticia seemed to agree, because she said, “Mama?!” as she tried to get down off of the bench.

Lilith listened for any other words, but couldn’t hear anything. Regardless, she had the sense that Leticia shouldn’t be the one to investigate.

“Leticia,” said Lilith, putting a gentle hand on the child’s arm to stop her efforts. “I want you to go back inside and stay with your Aunt Hilda. Can you do that for me?”

“But Mama—!”

“I’m going to go see what’s wrong. We don’t want your dad to find out you disobeyed him, right?”

Leticia looked simply _terrified_ at that thought. “Right.”

Lilith helped Leticia off of the bench and watched to make sure the girl made it all the way inside before turning in the direction that the voice had come from. The garden had many paths lined by hedges that could be followed to idyllic sitting areas among the flowers. The trick was choosing the _right_ one.

In the end, she didn’t have to, because Lucifer Morningstar came strutting down the path farthest to the left, clutching his jaw. Lilith’s mouth went dry as she walked towards him.

“What did you _do_?” Lilith hissed, her mind running wild with possibilities. Surely, he wouldn’t try to work his charm on _Zelda_ , of all people?

“ _I_ did absolutely nothing. It’s Faustus who has lost his bloody mind!” said Lucifer, brushing passed her.

“What happened?” Lilith asked, but Lucifer was already halfway to the door of the theater. “Lucifer, _what happened_?”

Lucifer didn’t respond, and slammed the back door to the theater so hard the sound reverberated through Lilith’s bones. It would seem she’d have to find answers herself. Turning around, Lilith took off down the path that Lucifer had exited, hoping beyond hope that whatever altercation had occurred wasn’t nearly as bad as her mind was making it out to be.

She didn’t have to go very far at all before she heard Faustus’ raised voice.

“He’s doing it just to provoke me.”

“Well, it looks like it worked,” said Zelda, her voice quiet in comparison.

Lilith still couldn’t see them, but she knew exactly where they were in the garden. While eavesdropping was generally a terrible idea, Lilith suspected that she would learn more about the situation if she listened out of sight than if she asked them directly.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

“He looks at me the same way you do.”

“ _I’m_ your husband—”

“— _Ex_ -husband—”

“—and I don’t want you alone with him.”

“You don’t get to decide what I do anymore, Faustus.”

“So, you’re telling me you’d let him have you for ten minutes in the garden, like a cheap whore?”

“What?! _No_.”

“I guess I should’ve known you can’t keep your legs closed for very long.”

“There’s no talking to you when you’re like this. We ought to be getting back to rehearsal,” said Zelda, with a note of finality.

Lilith heard footsteps coming closer to where she was hiding and panicked, wondering how she could possibly explain her eavesdropping behind the bushes, but then she heard a second pair of footsteps, a pained gasp, and sounds of a struggle.

“We’re not done here,” said Faustus, menacingly, sending a shiver down Lilith’s spine.

“Yes, we are. Get your hands off of me,” said Zelda, her voice sharp and cutting.

“I won’t let my children be raised by a whore.”

Lilith was at war with herself. On the one hand, she couldn’t let this go on, but on the other, she didn’t think she was strong enough to take on Faustus in one of his rages. If Lucifer had been knocked around by him, she certainly couldn’t do much better.

“I swear if you don’t let me go, I’ll scream so loudly they’ll hear me in Manhattan.”

“Go ahead then.”

“What?”

“Scream. I want to hear it.”

“Faustus—"

“Do you know who will come running? The paparazzi. They’ll get a nice photo of the two of us to run in the morning papers, but do you know what they _won’t_ do? Stop me.”

 _“Faustus,_ for Satan’s sake—”

“You said you’d scream, so scream. Unless you want to admit you love this twisted little dance we do?”

Lilith heard more sounds of a struggle, the rustling of fabric, a noise somewhere between a grunt and a whimper, until finally she decided that however foolish it was to interfere, it would be far worse to stand by and do nothing.

“Is there a problem here?” said Lilith, loudly, before rounding the hedge.

The sudden interruption shocked the actors enough that Faustus released Zelda purely from surprise. Zelda took a couple steps away to put space between them, her hands anxiously running over the fabric of her dress that covered her thighs.

“This is a private conversation, Lilith,” said Faustus, his fists clenched, his eyes hateful.

“The ten-minute break is over. You can imagine how we can’t go back to work without the King and Queen of Sicily,” Lilith tried to catch Zelda’s eyes, but the woman was looking pointedly away.

“Do Act IV. Satan knows, that’s where your weakest actors are featured.”

“Don’t tell me how to run my rehearsal, Mr. Blackwood. I want you back in the theater, _now_ ,” said Lilith, hardening her voice so that it was clear this was not subject to debate.

Faustus advanced on her. It took all of the courage she had to stand her ground.

“I don’t take orders from you.”

“Well, until I suffer a nervous collapse, like poor Ms. Wardwell, I _am_ the director, and I do have authority over this production. So, if you please, go check in with the stage manager, and explain _exactly_ why you are late coming back from your break.”

Faustus stared at her as if he hoped she might burst into flame just from the intensity of his glare, but eventually complied, brushing past her with unnecessary force. Zelda moved to follow him, but Lilith put her hands up to stop her, blocking her path.

“Are you…all right?” said Lilith, quietly.

Zelda scoffed, staring off at a point over Lilith’s shoulder. “You’d love it if I weren’t, wouldn’t you?”

“What?” said Lilith. “What on earth do you mean by that?”

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” said Zelda, her voice pitched low.

Lilith was sure she had done a great number of things in her life worthy of shame, but couldn’t, for the life of her, think of any that would have involved Zelda Spellman. “Why?”

“I’ve always admired you as a director, you know,” said Zelda, her lips stretched into a thin line. “If someone had told me a week ago that you would agree to do something like this, I would’ve said: ‘Never. She has too much dignity to stoop so low.’”

Lilith was well and truly perplexed now, with the added bit of anger brewing in her stomach. “How _exactly_ have I lost my dignity in your eyes?”

Finally, Zelda met her gaze, and Lilith was momentarily distracted from their conversation by how exhausted and pale the woman looked.

“Accepting blood money. Using my own personal hell to further your career. Agreeing to this—this—” Zelda waved her hand, “ _hostage_ _situation_ of a show.”

Lilith sucked in a sharp breath. “But you’re a free woman, with plenty of other options. Why on earth would you agree to this if you felt so strongly about it?”

Zelda closed her eyes. Lilith took the opportunity to move slightly closer. The woman’s whole body was wound tight as a spring. Lilith wished she could offer some physical comfort, but doubted Zelda would accept it from her.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Zelda breathed, as if the words themselves had robbed her of oxygen.

“Try me.”

Zelda opened her eyes. For a moment, Lilith could see terrible pain and distress in them, before the actress threw her head back and laughed. It wasn’t a small laugh, either; it was loud—too loud for the short distance between them—and shocking in its suddenness.

“So you can turn around and offer the story to whatever newspaper will pay you the most? I don’t think so.”

The jab hurt, though Lilith didn’t know why it should. Zelda Spellman’s opinion of her meant very little, in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason the comment felt like a knife between her ribs.

“I would never do that. You can trust me.”

“Trust _you_?” said Zelda, letting her gaze wander over Lilith in a way that made her skin tingle. “A woman who listens behind hedges? I don’t think so.”

Lilith and Zelda stood, suspended, as electricity sparked between them. Zelda seemed to register Lilith’s proximity only after three full seconds of blatant staring.

“If you’ll please excuse me, it would appear I am late going back to rehearsal,” she said, trying to move passed her, but Lilith grabbed her gently by the arm to keep her in place.

“Ms. Spellman, wait,” said Lilith, earnestly. “If something is going on, you can tell me. No project is worth feeling like…like a _hostage_.”

“Says the woman restraining me?” Zelda snarled, a challenge in her eyes.

“I’m not—” Lilith began, but then she looked down at the offending hand, and it was like having a bucket of cold water dumped over her head, suddenly seeing how this encounter could be construed from Zelda’s perspective. She removed her hand quickly, as if it had been burned. “I’m sorry. I meant you no harm.”

Zelda didn’t immediately turn to leave, but instead tilted her head, looking at Lilith with curious eyes. She brought one of her hands up to cover the place on her arm where Lilith had grabbed her. It was an unconscious gesture, but it made Lilith’s stomach twist with shame.

“I wish I could believe that. But experience has taught me that there isn’t a single soul in this business that wouldn’t sell their own child for more power or fame.”

“Is that what Faustus Blackwood is doing?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and she immediately regretted it when Zelda flinched back, as if Lilith had slapped her.

“You really are trying to get information out of me, aren’t you? At least the paparazzi have the decency to be open about it. You, on the other hand,” said Zelda as she backed away, “are no better than a snake.”

With that, Zelda turned on her heel and hurried down the path. Lilith stared after her, uneasy. Nothing could’ve prepared her for this play within a play. But now that she was its unwilling audience, what was to be done to put an end to it?


	3. Comforting Your Evils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith confronts Lucifer about what he was doing with Zelda in the garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone seemed to be chomping at the bit for more, so here is the next chapter, a bit earlier than I expected to have it ready. Your comments are encouraging me to write quickly and passionately; thank you very much, and please, keep them coming!
> 
> P.S. I don't envy anyone else who has ever had to fill out an "incident report," but I'm glad that I'm using my BFA in Theatre for something.

Having finally resumed rehearsal after the ten-minute break had turned into a twenty-minute one, Lilith was having a hard time focusing on Act II scene iii, despite the fact that Hilda Spellman was giving a brilliant performance. Lilith was pleasantly surprised to see that the woman was certainly a match for Faustus. It was a good thing Mary Wardwell had already blocked the scene, and that she had very little to say by way of changing it, because Lilith hardly felt she could speak passed the lump in her throat.

Hilda stood center stage, appearing tall despite her small stature, with a plastic baby in her arms. Cerberus, playing Antigonus, stood beside her. The two of them made a striking pair, thought Lilith absently. She knew that they were lovers in reality, too, but somehow this casting seemed sweet, rather than unseemly. Hilda held the doll in her arms like it was the most precious thing in the world, caressing the baby’s miniature features with a gentle hand. Lilith couldn’t help but spare a brief glance at Leticia, who was behind her in the audience and making a face at the plastic babe as if it personally offended her.

Paulina went through each detail of the babe’s appearance, insisting that each and every one proved the baby to belong to Leontes, but Leontes refused to look, and instead berated Antigonus for not having better control of his wife:

_A gross hag_

_And thou art worthy to be hang'd,_

_That wilt not stay her tongue._

Cerberus looked to Hilda with love in his eyes before turning back to Faustus to direct his lines:

_Hang all the husbands_

_That cannot do that feat, you'll leave yourself_

_Hardly one subject._

But Lilith’s mind wasn’t on the play—she was thinking of the sound that Zelda had made in the garden, the one that was somewhere between a grunt and a whimper. The more she thought about it, the more Lilith felt like she was going to be sick, but she couldn’t very well do that in front of her cast.

Her cast, that was very much still _working_ , while she was letting her mind wander.

Faustus stalked over to Hilda, his voice heavy with a threat:

_I'll ha' thee burnt._

When she responded, Hilda seemed to fill the entire room with the strength of her character and voice:

_I care not:_

_It is a heretic that makes the fire,_

_Not she which burns in't. I'll not call you tyrant;_

_But this most cruel usage of your queen,_

_Not able to produce more accusation_

_Than your own weak-hinged fancy, something savours_

_Of tyranny and will ignoble make you,_

_Yea, scandalous to the world._

Lilith heard footsteps and whispers somewhere behind her; it was utterly rude and distracting, to say the least. But when she turned around to glare at whoever was making noise in the audience, she realized it was Zelda, several rows back and to the right, handing an ice pack to Lucifer to put on his jaw.

Well. She couldn’t very well berate someone for applying first aid, though she thought it was vaguely ridiculous that Lucifer was being tended to by Zelda, in this moment. She knew she ought to focus on what was happening onstage, but her eyes were fixated on the unlikely pair.

She wasn’t the only one staring. Sabrina, who was properly miffed that she had been told to spend the morning running lines with Nick Scratch, the dashing Florizel, was also openly staring at her aunt from the row farthest to the back of the audience. While Lilith was being subtle about her quiet observations, Sabrina most certainly was not. She and Nick were gesticulating wildly at Zelda and Lucifer, as if they thought being so far away from the stage granted them some sort of invisibility.

Lilith could certainly see why Mary had abandoned this production so soon; there wasn’t a single person who seemed to be interested in being professional. Turning back to the stage, she made an effort to focus on the task at hand, though it took a great deal more willpower than it probably should have.

Finally, the lunch hour arrived, and the actors were dismissed. They all dispersed in different directions as they left the theater.

Lilith decided that she had at least _one_ way to get the information she wanted, but it was not exactly ethical. Not illegal, per se—in fact, the law would be on her side—but definitely not something she should do on her first day as director if she wanted to gain the trust and respect of her cast. But burning bridges had never particularly bothered her, and the specific bridge she planned to burn first was one she had soaked in gasoline twenty years ago; the only thing left to do was light the match.

“Mr. Morningstar, a word?”

Lucifer looked momentarily annoyed. It was his lunch break after all, and he was already the last to leave, because he had been returning the ice pack to the first aid kit. When he caught her eye, however, his expression changed into a sly smile. “You just can’t get enough of me, can you, Lilith?”

Lilith refrained from cursing at him, but only just, as she sat back down at her table and rifled through Mrs. Meeks’ binder of important papers until she found the right one. “I need to take down your version of events for this incident report.”

“ _Incident_ report?”

“You were injured today. Injuries require reports.”

Lilith didn’t think she had ever seen the man look as shocked as he was right then. “What?”

“You _are_ aware that you have a bruise on your face?” Lilith was very careful to keep her tone as professional as possible.

“You _can’t_ be serious, Lilith?”

“Oh, but I am, Mr. Morningstar,” said Lilith, opening the binder’s clamps so that she could remove the blank document and show Lucifer that she was, indeed, holding an incident report in her hands.

Lucifer stared at it in disbelief. “I don’t want to file a report.”

“Luckily, that is not your decision to make,” said Lilith, realizing that she was only going to get through to him if she pulled rank.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“I assure you, I’m not,” said Lilith, and she wasn’t—not really—because no matter how much she hated Lucifer for all that he had done to her, and how much she would like to never have to look at him again, this wasn’t about him; it was about the safety of her lead actress. “How did you get that bruise on your jaw?

“Piss off, Lilith.”

“How were you injured, Lucifer?” Lilith repeated, her voice rising only slightly, despite the overwhelming urge to shout at him. While the theater was currently empty, since everyone was at lunch, she was still wary that anyone could return at any time.

“My face made the acquaintance of a bush,” said Lucifer, suggestively, though his sarcasm ruined the effect. “Put _that_ in your report.”

“Lucifer, I’m giving you a chance to tell your side of the story. I’ll be speaking to Faustus next, so you better start taking this more seriously.”

It was an empty threat; she didn’t plan on asking Faustus anything, since she suspected that would be a waste of time. But Lucifer certainly didn’t need to know that.

“You’re playing with fire here, Lilith. Trust me, you really don’t want to get involved in this.”

Lilith nearly laughed at the idea that Lucifer would be looking out for her by withholding information. After all, he had never been particularly interested in protecting her in the past. His avoidance of her questions was really starting to irritate her.

It was time to be more direct.

“Who punched you? Zelda or Faustus?”

“Lilith, I’ve told you, I don’t want to file a report.”

“Who witnessed the injury?” Lilith carried on, as if she hadn’t heard him.

“The bush.”

“Lucifer, I swear, if you don’t start giving me some answers—”

“I’ve given you my answer.”

Lilith and Lucifer stared at one another, both suddenly remembering the last time that phrase was spoken between them: when Lucifer (hoping to convince Lilith that he could change for the better) had proposed marriage, and she had to refuse him multiple times before he finally gave up. Lilith thanked her lucky stars every day that she had had the strength to turn down the proposal. If she hadn’t, she couldn’t imagine what their life together would’ve been like.

Snapping herself out of the memory, Lilith changed tactics, once again. She lowered her voice to nearly a whisper, so that even if someone did come in, they wouldn’t be able to catch what she was saying.

“I heard Zelda Spellman yell, ‘Stop.’ _That_ will go in the report whether you explain it or not. I’m giving you a chance to clarify what you were doing with Ms. Spellman in the garden that resulted in a bruised jaw.”

“If you think filing a report is going to help her, it won’t,” Lucifer said, also lowering his voice to a near-whisper. Lilith was struck by the honesty in his eyes. She could sense no deception from him, in this moment, which concerned her. He had always been an incredibly talented liar, but by the same token, she had always had a knack for catching him in lies.

“And why is that?”

“Trust me.”

“Trust the Great Deceiver? I don’t think so,” Lilith scoffed.

Lucifer began to pace, his voice rising once more. “Don’t you understand? Filing an incident report will only make things worse!”

“Make me understand, then. What were you doing in the garden with her? What did Faustus see that sent him into a rage?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“You’re probably right, but tell me anyway.”

Lucifer stopped his pacing in order to lean over the table.

“Zelda’s sworn me to secrecy. I won’t break her trust.”

Again, Lilith was shocked by how sincere he seemed. Had he actually changed in the twenty years since she’d known him, or was this just another one of his tricks? “Lucifer, I need to know, did you…proposition her?”

“You’re beginning to sound like Faustus,” Lucifer said between gritted teeth.

“I’m starting to think Faustus might be the only one who will give me information, and that would spell disaster for you, I’m sure,” said Lilith, standing up so that he would stop leaning over her. Even standing, he was still taller than her by at least a foot, but it felt much better to be on her feet for this conversation.

“Faustus is a jealous bastard.”

“Just tell me the truth about how you were injured, and we can be done here.”

Lucifer looked to his left and right, as if checking to make sure they were truly alone. “If I tell you, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone. It doesn’t go in the report, you understand?”

“I can’t promise that.”

“Then I have nothing more to tell you,” said Lucifer as he turned on his heel and started to walk away.

Lilith warred with herself for a moment before she had to admit that her bluff had backfired. “Fine! Fine. I won’t put it in the report.”

Lucifer paused before slowly turning around. There was a glimmer of empathy in his eyes that seemed entirely unlike the man that she remembered.

“I’m helping Zelda find a new lawyer.”

Whatever Lilith had expected him to say, it wasn’t that. “… _What?”_

“She’s going to appeal the judge’s joint custody decision.”

Lilith was struck silent by that revelation. She remembered the story that had run in the evening newspaper on the day the ruling had been made. While she had never been very interested in celebrity gossip, she had followed the case, at least peripherally, over the six months it had lasted, since she was familiar with the work of both actors. She distinctly recalled a front-page picture of Zelda Spellman leaving the courtroom looking utterly defeated, which had confused Lilith at the time, because she would’ve thought a stepmother would be glad to get _any_ custody of the children at all. But then again, Zelda had adopted the twins as her own, so legally, she had a legitimate claim to them… It was all very complicated, Lilith knew, but she had a hard time believing that any mother would want to put themselves and their children through a _second_ agonizing trial that could take months—even years—to come to a decision, and even then, it might not be the decision she would want.

Recovering from her brief introspection, Lilith asked, “Why?”

Lucifer kept looking over his shoulder, as if he was worried the walls had ears. “She thinks the children aren’t safe with Faustus. Especially the girl.”

Lilith felt slightly dizzy at the thought of Leticia being hurt. She had only known the precocious child for a few hours, but that was enough to know that she would happily murder anyone who tried to hurt her. “If Zelda thinks they aren’t safe, she ought to go to the police, not search for a lawyer.”

Lucifer stared at her, as if expecting her to understand something without him having to say it, but in the end, he must have decided that words were necessary. He shook his head, and then said, “She doesn’t have enough evidence to do that. At least not yet. That’s why the first judge gave them joint custody. Unless she can show the judge indisputable evidence that he’s an unfit parent, the court will never take the children away from their biological father.”

_So much for justice_ , Lilith thought. But something was still bothering her about his explanation. “Why do you care what happens to her children?”

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you helping her?” she said, unable to keep the suspicion from creeping into her tone.

“It’s complicated.”

_That_ was much more like the Lucifer she knew. “You still haven’t explained how you got the bruise.”

Lucifer threw his hands into the air in exasperation. “Why is this so important to you, Lilith? Why can’t you just leave it alone?

“It’s interfering with our rehearsal process,” said Lilith, and it wasn’t entirely a lie, but it admittedly wasn’t even close to the full truth. “Are you telling me Faustus hit you because you and Zelda were just… talking?”

“More or less.”

“Was it more or was it less?”

“We’re done here,” said Lucifer, pointing a finger at her. “No more questions. And if you know what’s best for everyone, you’ll leave that paper blank.”

With that, Lucifer swept out of the theater. Lilith watched him go, with a sense of dread churning in her stomach.


	4. Skulking in Corners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith is making a habit of eavesdropping, but this time it isn't entirely her fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real-life is closing in, making it more difficult for me to find time to write for pleasure, but I promise I'll keep updating as often as I can. I hope you find this new chapter engaging! Please let me know what you think.

Lilith didn’t feel hungry at all after her conversation with Lucifer, so she spent her lunch hour in deep thought, contemplating everything that had happened in so little time. The puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place, but Lilith felt as if she had only figured out the border of the picture. She didn’t trust Lucifer as a matter of course, Faustus was undeniably cut from the same cloth, and what was to be made of Zelda?

With fifteen minutes left of the lunch hour, Lilith decided that stewing in her own thoughts wasn’t going to fix anything, and made her way to the restroom. She chose a stall all the way to the far end of the bathroom, which was a habit she had developed in childhood. The farther from the door, the safer she felt, though she had yet to understand the logic behind it.

Just when she was about to finish up in the stall, the door of the bathroom banged open, and two sets of footsteps could be heard coming in.

“Sabrina, you _can’t_ keep this up, love.”

Lilith inwardly cringed as she realized that she was once again in a position to eavesdrop on a conversation she wasn’t meant to hear, but in this case, it was absolutely not her fault. She intended to let Hilda and Sabrina Spellman know she was there, just as soon as—

“It’s not my fault Aunt Zelda has terrible taste in men!”

“Oi, you need to watch your mouth!”

“ _You’re_ the one always telling me that I should speak my mind. Do _you_ think Uncle Faustus is a good man? Or Lucifer Morningstar, who’s been hanging around her since before the trial?”

Lilith closed her eyes. Oh…this wasn’t good at all. But how to reveal herself without making her actors think she was always lurking around, ready to insert herself into any conversation?

“Zelda is a grown woman who can make her own choices—”

“I don’t want another uncle like _him_. Prudence doesn’t like Lucifer either. And what about Judas and Leticia? Do they get a say in it, because they’re her _real_ children?”

Lilith opened the stall door an inch, just in time to see Hilda’s face transform into shock.

“What do you mean, her _real_ children?”

“She’s not _my_ mother! She didn’t adopt _me_. Or Prudence, for that matter! She only likes kids when they’re little and they have to rely on her for everything and they don’t talk back and—”

“Sabrina, stop right there. Your Aunt Zelda loves you more than anything in the world. Just because she adopted Leticia and Judas doesn’t mean she loves _you_ any less.”

Sabrina was on a rampage, though, and clearly wasn’t listening. She paced in front of the sinks. Lilith was really starting to worry that one of them would see her.

“And what happens if she has a baby with Lucifer? Then she’ll have what she’s always wanted—a child of her _own_ —”

Hilda shook her head, suddenly looking very tired. “I think you can put _that_ thought right out of your head. Zelda has enough on her hands with the twins. What on earth has gotten into you? I hope you haven’t said any of this to her. You don’t realize how much your words hurt her—”

“What about _my_ hurt? What about how all of this has hurt _me_? The paparazzi are hounding me every minute, trying to get me to say that I saw Uncle Faustus—” Sabrina’s voice cracked on the name “Faustus” and she broke off her sentence there to recover. She braced herself on the sink, hanging her head.

Hilda moved to put a hand on her back. “I know it’s hard, love. But when you feel like this, you can’t take it out on your aunt. I know that’s easier said than done, and I know I’m asking you to be a lot older than you are—to handle this like an adult—but it’s important to remember that your Aunt Zelda is not the enemy here.”

“But Auntie Zee told me to stay away from Uncle Faustus, so I can’t very well take it out on _him_. And whenever I’m near Lucifer he’s always touching me and being gross—”

Lilith felt her stomach drop all the way to the floor. Then she experienced a wave of nausea so severe it made her grateful that she was currently in the bathroom, though throwing up would definitely make it obvious that she had overheard their entire conversation.

“ _What?!_ ” said Hilda, her raised voice bouncing off the walls of the bathroom.

“Forget it,” said Sabrina, pushing off the sink and refusing to look Hilda in the eye. “We should go back.”

“No, Sabrina, if Lucifer is bothering you—”

“Forget I said anything, okay? He’s just a man,” said Sabrina, trying to walk past her aunt but Hilda blocked her path.

“No, Cerberus is a man. Lucifer is a _pig_ if he’s pestering you.”

“Just drop it, okay? He’s clearly interested in Auntie Zee, not me.”

“That doesn’t make whatever he’s doing right. What _is_ he doing?”

“It’s nothing, Auntie. I can handle it.”

“You’re sixteen. You shouldn’t have to be handling _anything_ from a man like Lucifer.”

“It’s not that bad, okay? It’s just like…little touches here and there. On my waist or lower back or shoulders. It makes my skin crawl but it’s not like it’s even that sexual.”

“You don’t have to make excuses for him. If it’s making you uncomfortable, that’s that,” said Hilda, her voice suddenly very hard. “I’ll make him stop.”

“No!” said Sabrina, her face going red with embarrassment. “I don’t want to make a big thing of it. It’s _no big deal_. I just don’t want him to be my new uncle, okay?”

“When I tell Zelda, she’ll kill him, not date him.”

“No, Auntie, please,” said Sabrina, a bit of desperation creeping into her voice. “I don’t want her to think I’m making things up just to break them apart.”

Hilda’s face fell. “Do you really think she wouldn’t believe you? Sabrina, your aunt would never think you’d make something like _that_ up. She’d want to know. All she’s ever wanted is to keep you safe and happy.”

“Just…give me a chance to handle it on my own,” said Sabrina. “I don’t want to bother her. She looks sick enough as it is.”

Hilda sighed. “She does, doesn’t she? I’ve told her she needs to take better care of herself or she’ll _really_ drop dead during the court scene, but she isn’t listening to me.”

Just then, the door to the bathroom swung open, and heels could be heard clicking on the tile. Lilith nearly cursed out loud when she saw Zelda Spellman appear around the corner.

“Zelds!” said Hilda, unable to hide the slight hysteria in her voice from her sister’s unexpected appearance.

“What are you two up to?” said Zelda, eyeing her sister and niece with suspicion.

“We were just on our way out!” said Hilda, ushering Sabrina forward.

“I hope you had a good _lunch_ , Auntie Zee,” said Sabrina sarcastically over her shoulder as they left. Lilith could hear Hilda admonish her as the door closed behind them.

Lilith watched as Zelda let the blow wash over her, then entered a bathroom stall.

Should she make a run for it now? Or would that be too suspicious? Lilith was still warring with herself when she heard the unmistakable sounds of someone throwing up.

Oh dear. _That_ couldn’t be good.


	5. With Limber Vows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith has an unexpected proposal for Zelda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: implied past abuse. (it's only briefly mentioned/referenced)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please let me know what you think.

Lilith was hyper-aware of the echoing _click-clack_ sound her shoes made on the bathroom tile as she came to stand outside of Zelda’s stall. There would be no more hiding behind bushes or stall doors. From now on, all conversations would be had face-to-face. Or, as it was, door-to-face.

“Miss Spellman?”

She received no answer—but then, the woman _did_ presumably have her head in the toilet.

Nothing to do but wait. Lilith checked her watch. There wasn’t much time until rehearsal would start. She took out her phone and shot a quick text to her assistant director, Stolas, telling him to get started on Act IV. They weren’t about to do the court scene with Zelda in this state.

At least young Sabrina Spellman would be occupied, for the time being. That girl might be stubborn and mouthy, but Lilith could very clearly see now _why_ she was acting out. Lilith still didn’t know the whole story surrounding the Spellman-Blackwood divorce, but she was starting to suspect that the “irreconcilable differences” cited in the papers and gossip magazines hardly scratched the surface of the truth.

There was another wretch, followed by a small splash. It didn’t sound like there was much, if anything, left in the woman’s stomach.

Lilith had no idea how she was going to approach this situation. She didn’t want to make any assumptions that could sound like accusations. Hilda and Sabrina implied that Zelda was ill, and Lilith had seen for herself that the woman didn’t look her best, but what exactly was the nature of this mystery illness? Surely, she wouldn’t come to work if it was contagious…?

The sound of the toilet flushing brought Lilith out of her thoughts. She leaned against the bathroom counter, trying to appear calm and in control.

If Zelda appeared pale before, she was positively _ashen_ as she opened the door and paused a moment to take Lilith in.

“What are you doing?” said Zelda tiredly as she made her way to the sink.

“I can assure you, I didn’t follow you into the bathroom, seeing as I was here first.”

Zelda inclined her head as she washed her hands. “I meant, why are you just standing there like you don’t have anything better to be doing? Shouldn’t you be directing?”

Lilith turned her body towards Zelda, watching as the actress reached into her purse and pulled out her lipstick. Zelda’s right hand shook as she attempted to reapply the deep shade of red that had been wiped off at some point during her time bowing to the porcelain altar. Lilith had no idea why she felt the urge to take the lipstick from Zelda and apply it to the woman’s lips herself. She really needed to reign in these unprofessional feelings.

“Is it contagious?” said Lilith, her eyes still drawn inexplicably to Zelda’s newly-painted lips.

“Is _what_ contagious?” said Zelda, returning the lipstick to her bag.

“Whatever has you throwing up your lunch.”

“I didn’t eat lunch,” said Zelda, casually, as if it proved a point, and they were done discussing the subject. She then retrieved a tin from her bag, which Lilith would’ve guessed was meant for mints, but when Zelda opened it, she was surprised—and mildly alarmed—to see pills, or perhaps vitamins, where the mints should be.

“That settles that, then,” said Lilith, leaning more of her weight on the counter and giving Zelda’s body a once-over. She was trying to provoke Zelda into giving her some reaction besides steely coolness, and seduction was as good a bet as any to get a rise from her. “I’m making you dinner.”

“What?!” said Zelda, nearly choking as she dry-swallowed the pill.

“You haven’t eaten all day, you’re sick, and I make a _terrific_ chicken noodle soup,” said Lilith, smirking. The truth was, she actually _was_ a decent cook. But from the way Zelda was looking at her as if she had grown an extra head, it wasn’t likely that the woman thought she was being serious.

“Is this some sort of…trick?” said Zelda, running a hand through her hair to hide its trembling.

“Can’t a woman make dinner for her sick friend?”

“We aren’t friends,” said Zelda, immediately, her voice sharp.

“Can’t a director make dinner for her sick actress?”

“Let me make one thing clear, Miss Demos,” said Zelda, and the combination of her last name on the woman’s lips and the deep timber of her voice went right to Lilith’s core, even when she knew it shouldn’t. “I’ve just ended a truly terrible marriage. I have the wellbeing of two adopted children, a stepchild, a niece, and nephew to put before my own. Whatever it is you’re after, I assure you, you won’t be getting it.”

Lilith kept her gaze, trying to radiate earnestness. “I may not have known you personally for very long, Miss Spellman, but it only took me half a day to know that you shouldn’t be pushing people away right now.”

“That is _exactly_ what I should be doing.” Zelda shook her head, bringing up a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Everything has a price. I’m not interested in finding out what yours will be.”

Lilith felt thoroughly horrified that Zelda Spellman expected her offer of dinner to be the prelude to some sort of…deal. “I swear to you, Miss Spellman, I just want to make you some soup. I have no ulterior motive. I’m asking for nothing in exchange except your company.”

“My _company_ ,” Zelda repeated, a muscle working in her throat. “I don’t know what Lucifer has been telling you…but I don’t bargain with my… _company_.”

Lilith felt the peculiar sensation of falling, even though she could still feel the counter hard against her hip. “Miss Spellman… what _exactly_ do you believe Lucifer has told me?”

“I know about the two of you,” Zelda carried on, as if Lilith hadn’t asked a question at all. Her expression was curiously blank. “You’re the one who got away.”

Lilith closed her eyes against the feeling of Lucifer’s hand beneath her chin, tilting it up with a gentleness he only used when he was trying to control her. She should never have agreed to work with him again.

“Getting ‘away’ was the best decision I ever made, and it wasn’t an easy thing to do,” said Lilith, opening her eyes. “I don’t know what he’s told _you_ , but he should be rotting in prison for what he did to me. He’s lucky I never went to the police.”

Zelda seemed shocked by this honesty. She averted her eyes, rummaging once more in her purse. “You don’t have to…to tell me. I shouldn’t have…”

Zelda pulled a cigarette, lighter, and holder out of her bag in rapid succession. The lit cigarette was halfway to her lips before she paused, suddenly aware of what she was doing.

“I don’t think you’re allowed to smoke in here,” offered Lilith, but Zelda had already thrown the cigarette into the sink with much more force than was strictly necessary. She turned on the tap; both women stood in silence, watching the cigarette be doused with water.

“I’m sorry,” said Zelda, staring at the last wisps of smoke curling up, but clearly not talking about the cigarette.

“No harm done,” said Lilith, also aware of the subtext at work between them.

“I didn’t mean to—well. I should know better—” Zelda’s words were stilted but contrite.

“Let’s drop it, alright? All I’m interested in is getting you to agree to come to dinner. No strings attached. I just don’t want my leading lady wasting away.”

“There’s no danger of that,” said Zelda, under her breath.

Lilith looked at her curiously. Was Zelda finally going to admit what was wrong with her…?

“Hilda keeps me very well-fed. Ever since I moved back in with her, she’s been trying to fatten me up,” Zelda said, quickly, by way of explanation. Lilith eyed her, not quite convinced this was the truth, but in the end, she decided to leave it alone. At least for now.

“So, she won’t mind me continuing her efforts?” said Lilith, smiling.

Just then, the bathroom door swung open. Hilda Spellman appeared, once again, from around the corner.

“Zelds…?” she said, eyeing the two of them suspiciously. “I was getting worried. You’re terribly late…but clearly the director is aware of that.”

“You ought to stop worrying so much, Hilda,” said Zelda, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“You’ve been in the bathroom for twenty minutes,” Hilda said, but her eyes were trained on Lilith, not Zelda. “We skipped Act Three and went straight to Act Four. _Stolas_ is directing. All things considered, I think I was within my right to be worried.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m fine—” said Zelda, fiddling with her scarf.

“—Actually,” interrupted Lilith, “I was just telling Miss Spellman that she could go home. We won’t be doing any more of Hermione’s scenes today, and she was feeling a little sick to her stomach.”

Zelda glared at Lilith as if she was planning the details of her murder, but Lilith was distracted from it by Hilda’s concerned voice echoing in the bathroom.

“Zelda, why didn’t you _tell_ me you were ill—?”

“I’m not. Ms. Demos is mistaken—”

“You ought to do as Lilith says and go lie down. I’ll make you some medicinal tea and soup when rehearsal is over,” said Hilda, reaching out to her sister, but Zelda shook her off.

“That’s not necessary—”

“Actually,” said Lilith, interrupting once again, “I’ve invited Miss Spellman to dinner tonight. I’ll ensure she gets some of my finest soup in her before the day is done.”

Hilda looked thoroughly taken aback by this. “Zelda? You didn’t tell me you had a…date?”

“It’s not a date,” insisted Zelda, baring her teeth in Lilith’s direction, “and I never accepted the offer.”

“Well, I think it sounds lovely,” said Hilda, changing her tune on a dime. Lilith looked at her, perplexed. What was with the Spellman family and their mercurial moods? “Zelda never lets me take care of her these days. Maybe you’ll have better luck.”

“I’m a fifty-one-year-old divorcee, not a child. I don’t need taking care of.”

Lilith and Hilda exchanged a look, united by a common goal.

Zelda looked back and forth between them, before finally sighing in defeat. “Fine. I’ll go home, but only because I don’t want to spend the rest of the afternoon watching my niece ‘modernize’ Shakespeare’s verse.”

“And you’ll come to dinner?” pressed Lilith, knowing that Hilda’s presence offered her greater power when it came to winning the woman over.

Zelda remained silent for a few moments. She seemed a bit lost when she eventually said, “If you insist.”

Lilith’s stomach fluttered in happiness. Hilda looked unduly smug for someone who had entered the bathroom looking like she thought Lilith had kidnapped her sister.

“Wonderful.”


	6. My Best Obedience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda speaks with Lilith about her intentions regarding her sister. The secret to Zelda's plight is revealed before she even has a chance to try the soup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pivotal chapter! Please let me know what you think <3
> 
> The quote: "I've learned to live with a very flexible definition of 'okay'," is a borrowed/slightly reworded line from an episode of Grace & Frankie. It just seemed to fit so perfectly.

The rest of rehearsal went by relatively uneventfully. Never before had Lilith been so grateful for the beautiful monotony of drilling scenes over and over again. She didn’t even mind that Sabrina only seemed to listen to every third word that she said; she would take an angsty teenager with authority issues over the adults and their problems any day.

“Lilith?” said a voice on her right after she dismissed the cast and began packing away her belongings. Lilith looked up to see Hilda Spellman shuffling her feet awkwardly. “May I have a word?”

“Of course,” said Lilith, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Do you mind if we walk to my car as we talk? I want to get started on that soup.”

Hilda nodded, remaining quiet as they made their way to the exit.

“What’s on your mind, Miss Spellman?”

Hilda took a moment to scan the parking lot, as if checking to see who had dilly-dallied before going home. It was mostly empty, but at the far end of the lot, Prudence, Agatha, and Dorcas were sitting on the hood of Ambrose Spellman’s car, passing something that looked suspiciously like a joint between them as Ambrose stood a few feet away, using his whole body to tell a story. Hilda didn’t seem especially interested in the sight, and brought her attention back to Lilith.

“Your date with my sister.”

Lilith opened her mouth, but had trouble finding the words. “It’s not…a date. It’s dinner between colleagues.”

Hilda gave her a look that said very plainly she wasn’t buying it. “Whatever you want to call it, I don’t have to tell you that she’s going through a lot right now. If you’re looking for a fling, she’ll give you one, but it won’t be good for her, do you understand?”

They came to a stop beside Lilith’s car.

“Miss Spellman, I assure you, I have no untoward designs upon your sister.”

“Good,” said Hilda, placing her hands on her hips. “But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have them on you.”

“What?” said Lilith, sputtering.

Hilda smiled. “You’re just her type. And if I know anything about my sister, she’ll be looking for a distraction.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” said Lilith, unlocking her car to put her bag down. “What exactly are you saying?”

The smile fell off of Hilda’s face as quickly as it appeared. “I’m saying that she’s going to be looking for an escape, and she has a history of ‘escaping’ by way of sex with beautiful women in positions of power.”

“With all due respect,” said Lilith, crossing her arms, “Zelda is an adult. She can have sex with whomever she wants, and I don’t understand why we’re having this conversation when you were _encouraging_ us to have dinner together only a couple of hours ago.”

Hilda sighed, taking another glance around the parking lot as she did. She had a clear view of Sabrina hanging off of Nick Scratch’s arm as they came from the direction of the gardens. When Hilda spoke again, it was with a tone Lilith had never heard the woman use before.

“Look… it’s Faustus’ week to have the twins. Whenever he has them, she doesn’t eat, she doesn’t sleep, she just… _worries_ until she can take care of them again. I want her to be distracted, but not _too_ distracted. I know she can make her own decisions, but she isn’t in a good place right now, and I wanted you to understand that before you—”

“Hilda,” said Lilith, holding up a hand to halt the rush of words. “I promise, it’s just dinner. If Zelda wants it to be more than that, that’s _her_ business. I refuse to make decisions for her. But I wouldn’t worry, because she made it very clear to me that she doesn’t trust—or even _like_ —me.”

Hilda let out a hollow laugh. “Zelda _rarely_ trusts or likes the people she sleeps with. That’s what worries me.”

Lilith felt her intestines twist at that, but tried to keep it from showing on her face. She herself had gone through a period of time after she was with Lucifer when she didn’t care who the person was—she would sleep with anyone to erase the feeling of his hands on her. It hadn’t worked, but she didn’t blame herself for trying.

“Hilda, I know your heart is in the right place, but I really don’t think Zelda would appreciate you telling me all of this.”

“You don’t understand,” said Hilda, shaking her head. “Keeping her safe is more important than her opinion of me. I couldn’t protect her from Faustus, and now Lucifer is toying with her like a cat with a mouse. He’s holding something over her—I just know it. _These_ are the kind of people she lets close to her. The difference here is that I think you might be a decent person, and I’m asking you to at least _consider_ that now isn’t a good time.”

Lilith let Hilda’s words sink in before nodding. “I understand. Now, I did promise to make your sister soup, and I’m a woman of my word, so I ought to be going.”

Hilda stared at her for a few more moments, as if sizing her up, before giving a curt nod. “I’ll drop her off at seven and come by to pick her up at ten.”

“Can’t she drive herself? Or take a cab?” said Lilith, losing patience. It was absolutely absurd that Hilda was acting as if Zelda was a promiscuous, reckless teenager in need of discipline.

“I’ll ask how she’s feeling when I get home,” said Hilda, inclining her head to acknowledge that she understood what Lilith left unspoken.

“Asking _her_ sounds like a great idea,” said Lilith, no longer caring if she came off as rude. “Have a good night.”

With that, she got into her car and drove away. She could see Hilda in her rearview mirror, watching her as she turned out of the parking lot and onto the street.

* * *

Lilith’s apartment wasn’t much to look at. The producers had offered it to her after Mary Wardwell left the production, and Lilith was still finding the occasional trinket or item of clothing that had been left behind in the woman’s haste to leave. Lilith herself had learned to travel light, so there wasn’t much by way of decoration, and now that she was having company, she wondered if she should have put more thought into making the austere space a bit more…cozy.

But there wasn’t time; the soup was still simmering on the stove, and she needed to decide on which wine paired the best with it. Although, Zelda seemed more like a whiskey drinker than anything else…

Lilith was drawn out of her inner debate when she heard the buzzer sound. She walked quickly over to the pad on her wall and pressed down on the button to unlock the door.

“Come on up,” Lilith said into the pad, taking off her apron. The last thing she needed was to answer the door in something she’d bought at the Goodwill down the street for sixty cents. Checking her appearance in the mirror that hung in the hallway next to the door, Lilith decided she looked decent for someone who had had been cooking over a hot stove for two hours.

There was a knock on her door, and Lilith moved to open it. She smiled as she took in Zelda’s classic 1940s ensemble, complete with pearls. “Wow! I feel underdressed. Come in, come in.”

Zelda hesitated a moment before stepping over the threshold. “I wasn’t sure what to wear. Or what to bring. I hope you like merlot.”

Zelda held out a bottle of wine, covered in shiny silver wrapping and tied with a bow.

“You didn’t have to bring anything,” said Lilith as she accepted the wine.

“Hilda kept pestering me about being a good guest. It’s like she thinks I’ve never had dinner with someone before.”

Lilith chuckled at that. “Did she drop you off?”

“No,” said Zelda, suspicion creeping into her tone. “Why would she?”

“No reason,” said Lilith, quickly, turning towards the small sitting room. “The soup is almost done. Why don’t you have a seat—”

“Did Hilda talk to you?” interrupted Zelda. She stood beside the couch, but refused to sit down. “Did she tell you she would be my chauffeur? My _chaperone_?”

Lilith took a steadying breath. “She might have mentioned—”

“I’m going to kill her,” said Zelda, though the venom in her tone was mitigated by how tired she sounded. “She’s been treating me like a child ever since the trial started.”

“You can’t blame her for caring,” said Lilith, walking towards the kitchen to place the wine on the counter. “Would you like a glass of wine while we wait for the soup to finish?”

Unexpected silence greeted her question.

“Zelda?” Lilith said, popping her head around the corner.

“I would love some,” said Zelda, having finally sat down, but she wasn’t looking in Lilith’s direction. “But I think it’s best to go twenty-four hours without throwing up before you begin imbibing.”

Lilith was a bit taken aback. “You brought wine…but you don’t want to drink it?”

“Hilda insisted. I wanted to bring dessert, but she thought that might insult you, since you take pride in your culinary ability.”

Lilith almost laughed at that. “I don’t think my ego would’ve been bruised by a gift of baked goods.”

“Good to know,” said Zelda, her eyes flitting about the room, as if taking in how bare the walls were.

“I haven’t managed to decorate yet,” said Lilith, bringing Zelda a cup of water to drink instead. “I only just moved in a couple days ago."

“I know,” said Zelda, accepting the water with a grateful look. “Mary left on Friday night, so you couldn’t have been in here before then.”

Lilith raised an eyebrow at Zelda’s casual use of Miss Wardwell’s first name as she sat down beside her on the couch. “Were you close with Mary Wardwell?”

Zelda took a drink of water, as if to stall for time. When she was done, her eyes had a faraway look. “We used to be, before I was married.”

Lilith waited for more information, but none was forthcoming. “Did she really have a nervous collapse?”

Zelda closed her eyes for a moment. “I suppose you could call it that.”

“What would _you_ call it?” This suddenly felt like vital information. Lilith hadn’t pried when the producers offered her the job, but she had a feeling that there was more to the story than they had given her.

Zelda opened her eyes, her face suddenly wiped blank. Lilith was shocked by how impenetrable her expression could be when she didn’t want to talk about something.

“Did the producers lie to the press?” said Lilith, pressing further. She wouldn’t be surprised if they had, but that was concerning for a number of reasons.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” said Zelda, shifting uncomfortably.

Lilith didn’t like the direction this was going. “Was there an incident like the one we had today?”

“What incident? There was no incident,” said Zelda, waving her hand in dismissal.

Lilith gave her a meaningful look, but kept her mouth shut.

“Mary…” Zelda started, but then broke off. The silence stretched and stretched.

“Yes?” Lilith encouraged, wanting to reach out and place a hand on Zelda’s knee, but knowing that might be seen as too familiar.

Zelda looked completely lost as she said, “Mary… got on the wrong side of Faustus… _and_ Lucifer.”

Lilith couldn’t begin to imagine the implications of that sentence. “What does _that_ mean?”

“It’s complicated.”

Lilith was really starting to hate that phrase. “Then explain it to me like I’m a child.”

Zelda almost laughed at that. “I wouldn’t tell a child anything about those men if I could help it.”

Lilith had to concede that point.

“Anyway,” said Zelda, lifting her glass to her lips again. “Thank you for inviting me for dinner. It was entirely unnecessary, but I admit, it is nice to be socializing with an adult that isn’t my ex-husband, my sister, or a lawyer.”

“What about Lucifer?” said Lilith, and she nearly kicked herself for how tactless that question was.

“What about him?” said Zelda, placing the cup down with enough force to make a rather loud sound.

“He’s not your ex-husband, your sister, or a lawyer.”

“Well spotted,” said Zelda sarcastically. “I’ve known him for nearly twenty years. He’s practically a brother, and an unwanted one, at that.”

Lilith was thrown off by this description. She hadn’t realized their relationship went back that far. “Forgive me, but I accidentally overheard quite a bit of your conversation in the garden—”

“ _Accidentally_?” said Zelda, her voice suddenly brittle and cold. “You were hiding behind bushes like a particularly indiscreet _paparazza_.”

“I deserve that,” said Lilith, nodding, “but nevertheless, I overheard Faustus imply…that your relationship with Lucifer is…not ‘brotherly,’ if you understand my meaning.”

“I understand perfectly well,” said Zelda, sharply, “but I didn’t come here to be interrogated.”

With that, Zelda moved to stand, but Lilith could tell from the moment the woman was on her feet that something was wrong, and that she had stood up too fast. She saw Zelda tilt alarmingly, and Lilith was up in an instant, trying to steady her. It was no use, however, because the moment Lilith had a grip on Zelda’s arms, the woman’s knees buckled. Lilith was glad they were so close to the couch, because all she had to do was ease Zelda back down onto it, rather than pick her up off the floor.

“Should I call an ambulance? A doctor?”

“No, no,” said Zelda, her voice faint. “It’s just my blood pressure.”

“You need to see a doctor,” said Lilith, firmly. “You can’t keep pretending you’re alright when it’s clear you aren’t.”

“I’ve learned to live with a very flexible definition of ‘alright,’” said Zelda, weakly. She leaned her head back against the couch. “I just need a minute.”

“I’m calling your sister, at least,” said Lilith, moving to grab her phone, but Zelda stopped her with a feeble hand on her arm.

“No…please. Don’t.”

Of all of the things that were scaring Lilith in this moment, the most terrifying was the look of desperation on Zelda’s face.

“Zelda, your sister practically _threatened_ me this afternoon. I’m not going to let her think I stood around and did nothing while you were seriously ill.”

“She did _what_?” said Zelda, her voice breathless.

“I’m calling her,” said Lilith as she gently took Zelda’s hand off her arm, “and we’re taking you to the hospital.”

“Please,” said Zelda, and the tears in her eyes were what finally stopped Lilith, with the phone held in her hand, ready to be dialed. “I’m not sick.”

“Are you hurt? Should I call the police instead?” Lilith’s mind was running wild with reasons Zelda might not want to go to the hospital, and none of them were good.

“No!” said Zelda, trying and failing to get up once more.

“Stop, _stop_ , for Satan’s sake!” said Lilith, moving back to her and placing her hands on the woman’s shoulders to keep her sitting still. “Please tell me what’s wrong, so I can help you.”

Zelda refused to make eye contact. Her shoulders were shaking beneath Lilith’s hands. Something was wrong—very, very wrong—but nothing in the world could’ve prepared Lilith for when Zelda finally met her eyes, looking for all the world like she had just been given twelve hours to live.

“I’m pregnant.”


	7. Best for Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over soup, Zelda reveals some things but conceals others. Lilith tries to be supportive, though she might be in over her head.

“Pregnant?” said Lilith, letting go of Zelda’s shoulders immediately. Zelda didn’t repeat herself to confirm it; she just sat there, blinking up at Lilith with her wide, watery eyes. Unbidden, Leticia’s voice echoed in her ears: _when is the baby coming?_

Suddenly, the oppressively loud sound of the oven timer declared the soup was finished simmering. Lilith and Zelda looked at one another for a moment longer, the air between them near unbreathable.

Eventually, Lilith couldn’t stand the shrieking of the timer going off. She ran a hand through her mane of dark hair before saying, “Sounds like the soup is ready. You just sit there for a minute while I bring everything out of the kitchen.”

“I can help you,” said Zelda, though the palm pressed hard against her forehead told a different story. “It was just a dizzy spell. I’m fine now.”

“I’m telling you to sit still because you’re a guest, not because you’re…” Lilith wanted to kick herself for the way her eyes were drawn to Zelda’s stomach.

“You really ought to silence that heavenly racket,” said Zelda, waving a hand in the direction of the kitchen as her eyes darted to the side, avoiding Lilith’s rude stare.

“Right,” said Lilith, tearing her gaze away. “I’ll just…go do that.”

Once the timer was turned off, Lilith busied herself with puttering around the kitchen. Her mind was going a mile a minute, but she tried to focus solely on bringing the soup to the table, along with some fresh bread and cheese.

 _Are pregnant people allowed to eat cheese?_ Lilith suddenly felt overwhelmed by her ignorance. She’d never been around many pregnant women, and the subject of having a family of her own was a sore one, as Lilith had decided in her 20’s that she wanted a career more than a child, and very few people respected that choice. She’d grown tired of defending her independence over the years, to reporters and partners alike. It was unlikely she would have gotten far in the industry with a child in tow, and yet, interviewers never failed to bring up her lack of a family.

The fact that she’d had her tubes tied after Lucifer made it clear that he would love nothing more than to make her his broodmare was a secret for herself alone.

“Is everything alright?” said Zelda, calling from the couch.

“Of course,” said Lilith, with more confidence than she felt. She walked back into the living room, trying to keep her eyes trained on Zelda’s face. “What would you like to drink? Obviously, wine is out of the question… and I haven’t really done much food shopping yet, so I think all I have is milk, water, or orange juice.”

“Water is fine,” said Zelda, but her face darkened. “Wine would probably be fine, too.”

Lilith’s eyes went wide. “What… what exactly do you mean…?”

“Forget it,” said Zelda, waving a hand. “I’m morbid when I’m sober. Is the soup served?”

Lilith was still thinking about the wine, flummoxed by the notion that Zelda might not be interested in staying sober for the baby. “…Yes?”

Zelda took a deep breath, before scooting to the edge of her seat.

“Do you think you can walk to the table?” said Lilith, eyeing the distance between the couch and the dinner table with uncertainty. 

“Of course. I’m not an invalid.”

Lilith felt a smile curling at her lips at the woman’s stubbornness. At the risk of offending her, she offered a helping hand anyway. “Her Majesty still deserves an escort.”

“An escort to the table? You’re just as bad as Hilda.”

Despite the harsh tone of her words, Zelda allowed herself to be lifted into a standing position. Lilith was shocked by how easy it was to pull Zelda up; the woman was light as a feather.

“—and don’t call me ‘Your Majesty.’”

Lilith tucked Zelda’s arm into her elbow before starting towards the table. “Why not? You’re playing a queen. If I were you, I would milk it for all it’s worth.”

It was slow-going—Zelda was still weak and unsteady on her feet, though Lilith would never point it out—but they made it to the table without too much trouble. Lilith pulled out Zelda’s chair for her and helped her into the seat.

“Being Queen didn’t do Hermione any good, did it?”

Lilith didn’t like the bitterness that laced Zelda’s words, but she was right, nevertheless. “You have a point.”

Fetching two fresh cups of water, she returned to the table to see Zelda eyeing the food like it was a battle to be fought, not a meal to enjoy.

“Is something wrong?” said Lilith, putting the glasses down before passing Zelda the plate of bread and cheese.

“This looks lovely,” Zelda said, though the look on her face was a great contrast to her words. “It’s just that I haven’t been able to keep any food down in…awhile.”

“You should probably see a doctor about that,” said Lilith, ladling the soup into Zelda’s bowl.

“I can’t,” said Zelda with a sigh. “If the press finds out that I’m seeing an obstetrician, I couldn’t begin to imagine the scandal.”

Lilith sat down more heavily than she intended, after filling her own bowl with soup. “But isn’t your health—and the baby’s—more important than what the newspapers print?”

Zelda stared into her soup, not making any attempt to eat it. “You have to understand—this _cannot_ get into the papers. I should never have told you.”

Lilith burned her tongue, forgetting to blow on her spoon before putting the soup into her mouth. “Well, I’m glad you did. I hope you don’t think I’d leak the information?”

Zelda looked up, her eyes glassy. “I’ve come to the conclusion that if you were instructed by the producers to secretly feed them scandals amongst the cast in order to drum up sales, you’re doing a rather terrible job of it.”

Lilith didn’t know if she should be relieved or insulted by that. “I can assure you, I’m just another pawn on the board.”

Zelda nodded, before reaching for a piece of bread. “I should’ve known, once I realized you were Lucifer’s ex-fiancé.”

Lilith felt a roaring in her ears. She slammed the cup of water she had been lifting to her lips back down onto the table. “We were _never_ engaged. I turned him down. It was _Lucifer_ who couldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.”

Zelda held up her hands. It was hard to remain angry at her when Lilith could see the tremor in the woman’s fingers. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… now I’m certain _he_ was the one who convinced the producers to hire you.”

Lilith felt as if the walls were closing in on her. “He _what_?”

“He got Mary Wardwell fired specifically so that they could hire someone else. It was just his luck that Faustus had reason to want her gone, too. Lucifer and Faustus rarely agree on anything, but the producers couldn’t ignore their very expensive leading men demanding a replacement.”

Lilith watched in stunned silence as Zelda ripped off a tiny piece of bread and brought it to her lips.

This was bad. Lucifer was toying with her, but why? Not that he ever needed a reason in the past, but she was so certain they had put the past behind them. “What could Lucifer possibly gain by bringing me into this production?”

Zelda’s eyes flit about the room before coming to a rest on Lilith. “I haven’t the faintest idea. As it is, you’re challenging him at every turn. You’ve surprised him in some way.”

Lilith didn’t want to think about Lucifer while she was eating. So, she cleared her throat, and brought another spoonful of soup to her lips. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not talk about him right now.”

Zelda nodded, before taking a conciliatory, if small, sip of the soup. “My sentiments exactly. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” said Lilith, before changing the topic. There were more pressing matters than the nature of her appointment as director. “If you don’t mind my asking, when did you discover you were…”

“Pregnant?” Zelda was in the middle of tearing off another piece of bread when she looked up.

“Yes.”

Zelda looked down and away. She didn’t seem happy with the new subject of discussion. “At first I thought it was menopause. At my age, that was far more likely. But the symptoms didn’t exactly line up.”

Lilith just looked at her, unsure what to say. She didn’t feel comfortable asking for more details; they barely knew each other. But something inside of Lilith was whispering that Zelda might need to talk to someone, and Lilith could be that someone. After all, the woman looked terrified, not elated, by a geriatric pregnancy.

“How far along are you?”

“Ten weeks,” the answer came, quiet but certain.

“Does anyone else…know?” said Lilith, standing up to refill both of their water glasses with the pitcher in the center of the table.

Zelda looked at her then, her lips stretched into a grim line. She brought her right hand up to finger the pearls around her throat. “If he’s managed to keep it to himself, then… Lucifer is the only other person who knows.”

Lilith felt the need to sit down _immediately_ once those words registered in her brain, though it meant abandoning her water glass mid-pour. She’d suspected Zelda wasn’t telling the truth about the nature of her relationship with Lucifer, but it was still disturbing to be proven right. She took in Zelda’s pale and fragile appearance, and wondered just how she could possibly address this fact without distressing her. It seemed talking about Lucifer and his “charms” was unavoidable.

“Are you saying _Lucifer_ is the father?”

Zelda’s face drained of any remaining color. “I…”

Lilith wanted to break something. Or scream. Or perhaps break something _while_ she screamed. But this wasn’t about her, and she needed to get those feelings under control if she was going to get answers.

“Zelda, you can tell me. It might’ve been twenty years ago, but I still remember what it’s like to be under his control.”

“I’m not under anyone’s control—now,” said Zelda, shaking her head slowly, “and I want it to remain that way.”

“But _is_ Lucifer the father of this baby?” Lilith repeated, her water and soup forgotten. She didn’t think she’d ever eat again if she thought about the kind of deal Lucifer might have offered Zelda. Lilith could see tears beginning to form in the corners of Zelda’s eyes, but they had yet to fall.

“That depends on who you ask,” said Zelda, finally, as she fiddled with the napkin on her lap.

“I’m asking _you_ ,” said Lilith, feeling lightheaded. No matter Zelda’s answer, she knew that it wouldn’t be good. Hilda had put it in Lilith’s head that Zelda was prone to self-destructive behavior, and getting involved with Lucifer was certainly the quickest way to self-ruin.

“Well, unfortunately, I… haven’t made a decision on that score just yet.” Zelda began to tear her napkin into tiny pieces, making a small pile of strips next to her bowl.

Lilith was so distracted by the anxious behaviors that she was observing that Zelda’s words didn’t immediately make sense. “I’m sorry. What?”

“I… I think… there is a _possibility_ … that Lucifer is the father.”

“Possibility? Meaning it’s also possible that he isn’t?”

Zelda jerked her head in a sharp nod. Lilith had a terrible feeling she knew who the other ‘possibility’ was. The puzzle pieces were all starting to come together, and she didn’t like the picture one bit.

“I understand if you don't want to talk about… the circumstances. But I think you should tell _someone_. Maybe Hilda?” Lilith suggested, trying to make her voice sound as soft and encouraging as possible.

“No,” said Zelda, quickly. She stopped tearing apart her napkin and looked up with panic in her eyes. “Hilda can’t know. She already looks at me like I’m going to break at any moment. If I told her, she would—well. I can imagine what she would do, and it wouldn't be good for anyone involved.”

“Then…do you want to tell _me_ why you aren’t sure…?”

Zelda brought her fingers to the bridge of her nose and pinched hard, as if she had a migraine. “I… I don’t want to even _think_ about it, let alone talk about it.”

Lilith could understand that sentiment. But the fact of the matter was that a _baby_ couldn’t be ignored. The secret was only going to grow bigger by the day, and the longer Zelda kept it, the harder it would be to make a plan of action.

“Okay. Well… what if _I_ did the talking, and you could just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if I get the story right?”

Zelda didn’t look too enthusiastic about this idea, but she eventually nodded in agreement.

Lilith took a deep breath. She’d had to go to therapy for years before she was able to process what happened between her and Lucifer. The idea that he had hurt more women after she broke up with him was unpleasant, but not surprising.

“Did Lucifer offer to help you appeal the judge’s decision in exchange for sex?”

Zelda sighed. “I’ve told you: I don’t bargain with my…company.”

“I wouldn’t judge you if you did.”

Zelda’s eyes met hers and for the first time, Lilith felt like they were actually _seeing_ each other.

“That’s…kind of you. But it isn’t like that. He has other…leverage.”

Lilith could feel her heartrate increase exponentially. “What kind of leverage?”

“Lilith—” Zelda said, and despite the seriousness of the situation, she couldn’t help but feel a flicker of joy at finally hearing her name on the woman’s lips, “you don’t understand. I have to take this secret to my _grave_.”

Whatever joy she felt was quickly replaced by horror. “What information could he possibly have over you that would warrant such devotion?”

For a moment, it looked like Zelda was debating answering the question, but it was clear by the increasing panic in the woman’s eyes that Lilith wasn’t going to get the information she wanted.

“I have to leave,” said Zelda, standing so abruptly that she had to grab onto the table to keep from falling right back into her chair. “I can’t. Nobody can know. Edward would kill me.”

“Edward…your brother?” Lilith’s brow furrowed. She knew enough about the Spellman family to know that of the three famous siblings, the brother was long since buried in the ground. “Zelda, I think you need to lie down. Edward Spellman is dead.”

“Of course—I know he’s dead,” said Zelda, pushing away from the table and stumbling towards the door. “I meant… I meant Lucifer. _He’d_ kill me.”

Lilith leapt from her seat, nervous that Zelda would collapse the moment she left the apartment. She grabbed her by the elbow, trying not to be too rough, but the woman was deceptively strong. “Zelda, slow down. Why would Lucifer want to kill you? _Especially_ now that you might be carrying his child? You’re not making any sense.”

“Let go!” said Zelda, trying to wrench her elbow free. Lilith could only guess that it was the adrenaline that was fueling her.

“Zelda, stop,” said Lilith, pulling her around so that she could take a hold of both elbows. “Look at me. No one is going to try and kill you. Not while you’re here with me; I won’t let them. But you have to calm down, and explain to me what has you in this panic.”

“I can’t.”

“I know you’re scared—frankly, you’re scaring _me_. But I can’t let you leave like this. You nearly fainted standing up. You’re in no condition to drive.”

“I’ll call a taxi,” said Zelda, still trying to tear herself away from Lilith. “You can’t just keep me here against my will.”

“I don’t intend to—I just want you to calm down before you go. This stress isn’t good for the baby.”

Zelda wilted beneath her hands. Lilith was shocked by the sudden lack of protest.

“It won’t matter,” Zelda whispered. Lilith had to lean closer to hear.

“Zelda?”

“The baby is going to die anyway.”

Lilith wasn’t sure if Zelda meant that she was going to have an abortion or a miscarriage, but either scenario made her nervous. “Zelda?”

“I need to sit down,” she said, her voice still very faint.

Lilith happily led her back to the couch. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“I hate feeling like this,” said Zelda, putting her head in her hands.

“I’m sure.”

“I’ve been pregnant before,” Zelda explained, her voice muffled by her hands, “and every time it ends the same way.”

Zelda’s shoulders began to shake. Lilith decided that the line that should be drawn between colleagues was long since crossed, and wrapped her arms around the crying woman.

As the top of her shirt was soaked with tears, Lilith was overwhelmed by a single thought: _I’m going to kill Lucifer_.


	8. Upon My Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith is just trying to help Zelda through her denial, but she might be doing more harm than good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I know I've been neglecting this fic in order to participate in the Madam Spellman Fictober Challenge, but I swear, I haven't forgotten it. Real life is getting in the way, too, but here I am with an update anyway, because I have no self control.
> 
> Please note: this chapter is intense. Not intense in a graphic way, but if anyone has read my CAOS crossover with Hannibal, "La Vita Nuova," where Zelda has a therapy session with Bedelia du Maurier, you know that coming to terms with abuse can be really hard to do (especially when the person helping you has demons of their own). 
> 
> Please, please comment, even if it's just to say: "I love it!" or "I hate it!" or "keep going!" or "I'm still interested in this fic." I read each and every one of your comments as they come in, and they give me the motivation to keep this story going. There weren't too many comments on the last chapter, so I thought I'd work on other pieces for a while, in case people weren't following this one anymore. Also, I'm very sorry if I don't reply to your comments in a timely matter; I'm trying to get better at doing that, but I tend to use up all of my free time writing, instead of responding to comments (*hides in shame*). 
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with me! I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think of the story so far.

Lilith let Zelda cry for what seemed like an eternity, though Lilith knew it was probably just her own racing thoughts that were creating the illusion that so much time had passed. She was trying to organize what she knew about the situation vs. what she had assumed, and the two categories were terribly hard to reconcile.

Lilith knew that Zelda’s baby had at least two possible fathers; she knew that Zelda hadn’t intended to get pregnant; she knew that the woman crying into her neck was afraid of Lucifer—but no— _that_ was an assumption. When Zelda had gone into a panic, it was Edward Spellman (a man she knew to be long dead) that she had cited as the source of her fear, not Lucifer. What on earth could that possibly mean?

Then there was the fact that Lucifer knew about the baby, but the other potential father didn’t. Why would Zelda tell one but not the other? Surely, if she’d had sex with Faustus even after the divorce was finalized, _he_ would be the more obvious person to tell first? As it was, Lilith was certain Faustus at least suspected _something_ , if his behavior at rehearsal was any indication. But then, why tell anyone at all, if Zelda was so certain the baby was going to die that she would risk not seeing a doctor?

Eventually, Lilith felt the woman’s tears subside. Zelda’s body was still shaking beneath her hands, but at least the uncontrollable sobs had stopped.

“Zelda? Are you alright?” said Lilith, whispering into the woman’s hair. Even in such a distressing situation, Lilith couldn’t help but notice how nicely the woman smelled, and how good it felt to hold someone in her arms again. She hadn’t been touched in so long, she almost forgot how much she missed this kind of intimacy.

“I’m fine, thank you,” said Zelda, pulling away. Her face was wet and blotchy, but her eyes were bright and focused once more. “I’m sorry—I should never have let myself fall apart like that.”

Lilith longed to pull the woman close once more, but it was clear Zelda was already erecting invisible barriers between them from the stiffness of her body. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“But I do,” said Zelda, insistently, crossing her arms as if to hug herself in place of Lilith. “I have no right to drag you into this. We hardly know each other.”

“That may be,” said Lilith, standing up to retrieve their waters from the table, “but no one deserves to struggle through something like this alone.”

Zelda looked as though she might disagree when Lilith passed her the glass. She took a careful sip, her throat raw from crying. “I’m better off alone. I always have been.”

Lilith sighed as she sat back down. “Just because you’ve been hurt by the people you trusted, doesn’t mean you’re better off alone.”

Zelda looked at her over the rim of the glass, eyes wide. “I never said anyone hurt me.”

Lilith didn’t want to push Zelda too far, but she also didn’t like the idea of the woman remaining in denial. “Zelda, you _begged_ me not to tell your sister that you’re pregnant. Why would that be, unless it has to do with how the baby was conceived?”

“Maybe I just don’t want my sister prying into my business,” said Zelda, her hands shaking as she put the glass down onto the coffee table.

Lilith nodded. She had lied to herself about her own abuse for so long, it became so easy to just pretend that Lucifer really did love her, and that she had overreacted to all of his casual cruelty and possessive behavior. But there was only so long that lie could keep her safe from the truth, and she didn’t want to see Zelda hurt when inevitably the same reality check shattered her carefully constructed lie.

“Then let’s talk about Leticia,” said Lilith, changing tactics. She knew where to press to make a woman admit her situation was intolerable. She didn’t go through years of individual and group therapy not to have picked up on a few things.

Zelda looked like she didn’t know whether she should be relieved or suspicious of the sudden change of topic. “What about her?”

Lilith didn’t feel any remorse about breaking Lucifer’s confidence, _especially_ if he was one of the men who hurt Zelda. “Lucifer told me you’re afraid that she isn’t safe with Faustus.”

Zelda’s mouth fell open before she collected herself long enough to find her voice. “He had no right to tell you that!”

“I agree,” said Lilith, holding up her hands to indicate she wouldn’t dispute that fact, “but for once, I think he’s showing a little bit of humanity. If you think Faustus is abusing her, you need to tell Child Protective Services.”

“And let her be taken away?!” snarled Zelda, and Lilith knew that if the woman had been feeling better, she would have stalked right out of the room. But lacking the energy or ability, she was forced to remain in her seat. “I won’t let the government have her. She’s _my_ daughter; she might not be my blood, but she’s _my daughter_ , and I’ll die before I let some stranger decide what’s best for her.”

Zelda was breathing hard; Lilith was starting to worry she really should have called a doctor, especially since Zelda had admitted that she hadn’t been to see one yet.

“Zelda, what matters more? Leticia’s safety, or your pride?” said Lilith, quietly, fully knowing the weight and consequence of her words.

Zelda flinched back, as if Lilith had struck her hard across the face. “How. Dare. You?!”

“Zelda—” Lilith began, but Zelda cut her off quickly.

“How _dare_ you say that I would put anything above my daughter’s safety? This isn’t about pride!” said Zelda, her voice bordering on hysterical. Lilith couldn’t blame her; she had chosen her words specifically to illicit this kind of reaction.

“Then why didn’t you tell the judge that Faustus was abusing you? He never would’ve been given custody of the twins in the first place if there was domestic violence in the home,” said Lilith, trying to keep her voice calm and unemotional. This was how you made a woman confront her own demons, Lilith knew, but she couldn’t help but feel guilty even as she did it.

Tears began to slip once more down Zelda’s face. The sight made Lilith long to take her into her arms again, but she doubted that would be happening any time soon; not after she accused Zelda of putting her own wellbeing over her child’s.

“I _did_ tell someone; I told Hilda, and I told my lawyer—who, by the way, advised _against_ that line of prosecution, despite the fact that I’m sure he turned right around and sold exclusive rights of the ‘abuse’ story to _The Inquirer._ But no one even believed the article, anyway. Faustus’ loyal followers were very clear on that count.”

Lilith sucked in a sharp breath, closing her eyes. She hadn’t heard about that; but then, she wasn’t one to keep track of the tabloids. “Zelda—I’m sorry.”

“No, you aren’t,” said Zelda, her voice the coldest Lilith had ever heard it. She opened her eyes to see Zelda angrily wipe at her tear tracks with the edge of her sleeve. “You wanted me to talk, so fine, I’ll talk: Faustus is a charming misogynist—I’ve known that since we were teenagers, and I never should have married him, but I had my reasons. I had no way of knowing it would escalate the way it did.”

Wary that Zelda might slap her for even trying to touch her, Lilith laid her hand in the space between them on the couch, testing the waters. “What escalated?”

“Everything,” said Zelda, vaguely.

“Like what?”

“Do you really want to know all of the sick little details? Are you _enjoying_ this?” said Zelda, pushing her palms into her eyes as if the tears could be forced back inside that way.

“I’m not,” said Lilith. In fact, she was quite certain she wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight. She didn’t think she’d sleep _at all_ until either the play was shut down, or Faustus was in jail. “All I really want to know is if this baby was conceived consensually.”

“Why do you _care_ how it was conceived?” Zelda pressed, bringing her hands down from her eyes and turning them into fists where they laid on her lap.

Lilith didn’t truly have an answer for that. She hardly knew Zelda Spellman except from afar before today; she had no idea why she had such a sudden, uncontrollable urge to protect her from harm.

“I care because I think someone hurt you—is still hurting you—and that unless someone else does something to stop him—them—you’re just going to keep letting it happen until you and your baby are dead.”

This declaration was met with a long silence. Zelda’s face, which had been red and blotchy only a moment ago, was starting to lose its color once more.

“I’m not a child, Miss Demos. I can fight my own battles,” said Zelda, though her voice was barely above a whisper. Lilith noticed that she had gone back to calling her by her last name instead of her first, which meant she was trying to rebuild the distance between them.

“You shouldn’t have to do it alone,” said Lilith, ignoring all signs that Zelda wanted to be left alone and placing her hand on the woman’s knee.

Zelda stared at the offending hand for a long time, not pushing it away, but also not making any indication the touch brought her any comfort.

Finally, Zelda looked up. All emotion had been wiped from her face. Even her eyes were completely blank as she said, “I’ll be fine, Miss Demos. Once the request for appeal is announced, Faustus won’t dare to touch me.”

Lilith didn’t want to sound overly cynical by telling Zelda she didn’t think that would be the case. Instead, she said, “And Lucifer?”

Zelda stood up, refusing Lilith’s help as she did, despite the trembling of her legs. “I’ll handle him. He’s not the only one with leverage.”

With that rather chilling statement, Zelda bid Lilith goodnight, thanking her for her hospitality—and for the soup, which Lilith thought was vaguely absurd, considering Zelda had hardly eaten any of it. Lilith watched as the woman swept out her apartment door, trying to quell the rising fear that Zelda had just spoken some very famous last words.


	9. Proceed in Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith unleashes years of unspoken anger and hatred upon Lucifer after discovering him in a suspicious position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Please let me know what you think of this new chapter; it's an intense one, and I'm eager to hear your thoughts about how the story is unfolding. Your wonderful comments are what keep me going.
> 
> Content Warning: Lucifer says some pretty vulgar, sexual things to Lilith. No actual sexual or domestic violence is depicted, but it is discussed.

After only five days of directing _The Winter’s Tale_ , Lilith had already had enough. She’d worked in difficult environments before—the television set of a certain internationally successful British science fiction show had seen her nearly driven to insanity from the madcap actors, designers, and crew who hardly ever listened to the words coming out of her mouth, so as to make her wonder if she were speaking in tongues—but she had never once worked with a group of such high profile people whose history had so much latent, unspoken animosity that even the _civility_ between them was disturbing. By Friday afternoon it had gotten so unbearable that Lilith contemplated quitting, just like Mary Wardwell, and letting the producers scramble once more to save the production, but she couldn’t imagine walking away after what Zelda Spellman had disclosed to her.

Even so, ever since their dinner, Zelda had noticeably been avoiding her. An impressive feat, considering they rehearsed six to eight hours every day. Faustus, too, had been giving Lilith a wide berth, putting on a show of being on his best behavior. It was unsettling. He was no longer petulant and aggressive; instead, he seemed to have decided to use his considerable charm to combat her every note, which made Lilith suspicious more than relieved.

It was Lucifer, however, who had her attention this afternoon. He had been following Zelda around like a dog all day, so much so that Lilith had momentarily debated the ethics of working only on scenes that would require the two of them to be onstage, so that there was no possibility of them being alone together. While Lilith knew she had no control over whatever problems Zelda might have with her ex-husband, she damn well could make sure that _Lucifer_ left the woman alone—at least at work, where he was under Lilith’s direct authority. But when Lilith called for a half hour break in order to keep herself as much as her actors from collapsing under the tension, she realized that both Zelda and Lucifer had disappeared immediately after the words, “Thank you, thirty!” had been echoed in unison by the cast and crew.

Unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong, Lilith decided that she ought to get a fresh cup of coffee before she let her thoughts get too far away from her. But first, a brief pitstop was in order.

“You sick son of a bitch,” said Lilith intensely but quietly when she discovered Lucifer loitering outside the women’s restroom. Today he was dressed in a dashing black suit that cost at least half of Lilith’s salary. His arms were crossed and he was leaning back against the wall, only three short steps away from the lavatory door.

“Someone’s in a mood,” said Lucifer, smirking. “Are you on the rag, or are you always this angry and quick to judge these days, Lilith?”

Lilith let the fury she felt at his comments fuel her. “Why are you hanging around the women’s restroom?”

“It’s a free country, Lilith, and we’re on a break, remember?”

“I know we’re on a break,” said Lilith through gritted teeth. “That doesn’t give you the right to harass women in your free time.”

“Do you see any women? How can you accuse me of something when I’m just standing here, minding my own business? If anyone is being harassed, it’s me,” said Lucifer, showing her his hands, as if the fact that they were empty proved his innocence.

“So, you’re telling me the fact that you’re spending your break outside the women’s bathroom is just a coincidence?” said Lilith, quickly losing her patience.

“As it happens, I’m waiting for someone,” said Lucifer, raising an eyebrow at her. “Not that that’s any of your business.”

“I swear, Lucifer, if you hurt her again, there’s not a judge in this whole state who will let you get away with it,” Lilith threatened, lowering her voice and moving into his space.

Just then, the door to the bathroom opened. Sabrina appeared, drying her hands on a paper towel and clearly having heard Lilith’s threat.

“Is something wrong?” said Sabrina, stopping in her tracks when her eyes landed on Lucifer before she turned to Lilith with a worried expression.

“Not at all, Sabrina,” Lilith responded immediately, backing away from Lucifer to give Sabrina room to pass them.

“ _Who_ did he hurt?” said Sabrina, her voice suddenly sounding very young. It was easy for Lilith to forget the girl was only sixteen, what with the tabloids having over-sexualized her since she was practically still in diapers, but in this moment, she sounded every bit her age.

“Lilith was making a joke,” said Lucifer, now laser-focused on Sabrina. “But as you can see, I’m not laughing.”

Sabrina eyed them both suspiciously. “I’m not stupid. That didn’t sound like a joke.”

“Sabrina,” started Lilith, but then she stopped. She looked between the girl, the bathroom, and Lucifer, and put it all together: it was the _girl_ Lucifer had been planning to corner outside the bathroom, not her aunt. Thinking on her feet and trying to keep her tone even, she continued, “Sabrina, I need you to go practice your lines with Mr. Scratch. You keep adding syllables where there aren’t any, and it’s messing up the iambic pentameter.”

“But we’re on a break,” Sabrina whined, even as she moved to do as she was told. “Nobody notices that stuff but you.”

“I assure you, _everyone_ notices,” said Lucifer, teasingly, as he raked his eyes over the girl. Lilith only just kept herself from punching the lecherous smirk right off his face.

Sabrina shot him an uncomfortable look over her shoulder as she passed them, which confirmed to Lilith that she wasn’t oblivious to his flirtation. Once Sabrina was out of sight, Lilith rounded on Lucifer with new purpose. She shoved him hard against the wall, unable to keep her anger in check with the thought that now he might be casting his net younger— _much_ younger.

“And you used to say _I_ had a temper,” said Lucifer, chuckling, as if her violence was amusing to him.

“You listen to me very carefully, Lucifer,” said Lilith in a harsh whisper. “You even _think_ about touching that girl and I’ll have the cops down here so quickly you won’t even know what hit you.”

“You can’t press charges on a person’s _thoughts_ , Lilith,” said Lucifer, smile still firmly in place despite Lilith’s accusing finger only inches from his nose. “For instance, I could undress you with my eyes right here, pretend I’m having you rough and fast against the wall just like old times, but if you call the cops, all the police can prove is that you made slanderous, baseless accusations, and attacked someone under your authority. Sabrina witnessed you threatening me, after all.”

Lilith cursed at him. “Since you’re so interested in the letter of the law, what do you call forcing someone to have sex with you?” said Lilith, spitting the words right into his face. “What do you call getting a woman pregnant through coercion?”

Lucifer’s eyes darkened, his voice lowering to nearly a growl, “I assume the woman in question wouldn’t want you saying these things in public. You’re lucky most of the cast is spending their half hour at the café down the street.”

“So, you admit it?” pressed Lilith, not caring that he had a point about the issue of secrecy; not after seeing the way he looked at Sabrina. “You admit you forced her?”

“I didn’t _have_ to force her, Lilith,” said Lucifer, pushing off the wall so that she had to take three rapid steps back to avoid him. “She worships me. I’m like a god to her. She kisses the very ground I walk on. _Literally_.”

Unbidden, a memory of Lucifer forcing her to kiss his feet came to mind, but she quickly shook herself out of it, feeling a bout of nausea bubbling in her stomach. “I don’t know exactly what you did to her, but I do know Zelda is a wreck, and you made her that way.”

“Her _husband_ made her that way,” snarled Lucifer, clearly beginning to lose his cool demeanor. “You’ve got the wrong man, Lilith. Do you know how many scars he gave her? I’ll count them for you the next time I take her from behind.”

Lilith could feel her body flooding with adrenaline at the image that his words put inside her head, but she also knew it was possible he was being vulgar just to rattle her. “You stay away from her. Do you hear me? You leave her and the baby alone.”

“I’m telling you I didn’t rape her. She submitted willingly. It was practically a religious experience. Besides, she’ll let anyone have her—just ask Mary Wardwell—” said Lucifer, “and you have no right to tell me to stay away from the mother of my child.”

Lilith briefly debated revealing to him that it was equally possible the baby wasn’t his, but thought better of it. If Zelda hadn’t told him yet that he wasn’t the only potential father, it wasn’t her place to do it, no matter how much she wanted to wipe that superior look off of his face.

“I don’t care how many people she’s had sex with,” said Lilith, trying to keep her voice carefully measured and utterly failing. “I’m telling _you_ , if she ‘submitted,’ it was because she was afraid of what you’d do if she didn’t. That’s not consent.”

Lucifer scoffed, “She’s a sadomasochist, Lilith, not a blushing housewife. She gets pleasure from being hurt. She has the scars to prove it. Who am I to deny a lady her preferred method of sexual gratification?”

“All that the scars prove are that Faustus abused her,” said Lilith, clenching her fists in an effort to keep from punching him, “and don’t pull that crap with me. I have scars too, you know, and I sure as hell never wanted them.”

Lucifer didn't answer right away. Instead, he made a show of loosening his tie, and then tightening and straightening it once more. The movement had the desired effect; Lilith was momentarily struck dumb by the memory of him using his ties for the sick bondage games he used to play with her.

“Are we done here?” said Lucifer, his eyes sparkling with victory.

“No,” said Lilith, shaking her head to dismiss the memory. “You can come up with as many excuses and explanations as you want, but I need one thing to be clear: if you keep this up—if you hurt her even _a little bit—_ she’ll lose the baby. If that happens, I swear a jury will never hear your side of the story. I will shoot an entire round of bullets between your eyes and between your legs, not necessarily in that order. Understood?”

Lucifer didn’t seem intimidated by the threat one bit. In fact, more than anything, he seemed amused by the whole situation. “She’s had three miscarriages and one stillbirth. If she bloody _sneezes_ , she’ll lose the baby. Besides, I owe my legacy to Spellman women. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

Lilith was about to respond with something scathing, but then the full meaning of his words finally registered, and her mouth fell open. “What do you mean, ‘Spellman _women_?’”

Finally, Lucifer reacted with something other than smug superiority. His eyes lost their sparkle, and his jaw clenched in obvious displeasure. He raised a hand, as if he were intending to take hold of her by the chin, but Lilith slapped it away before it could reach its destination.

“Your questions are boring me, Lilith, and you know what I’m like when I’m bored.”

With that, Lucifer walked away, but not before giving her a final, threatening look. Lilith felt her heart begin to race, thinking of all of the ways Lucifer could punish her for everything that she had just said, but no, those days were over. She was free. His cruelty would not be visited upon her, but rather on Zelda—or worse, Zelda's sixteen-year-old niece. If ever there were a time to ensure Lucifer was stopped for good, it was now, but the question remained: how to do it?


	10. Is Whispering Nothing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faustus goes rogue during a tense scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has an excessive amount of Shakespeare in it; please forgive me. It took ages for me to decide how to cut the scene in a way that still made sense but didn't require pages and pages of verse. I hope I succeeded! Please let me know what you think. Your comments keep this fic alive, because they remind me that there are people invested in this story as much as I am!

Lilith was still reeling from her encounter with Lucifer when rehearsal started back up again after their break. It was late on a Friday afternoon, and everyone was clearly no longer in the mood to work, _especially_ after being given a tea break. Since they had managed to block the entire show over the course of the week, Lilith’s original intention had been to stumble through the whole play before going home to a much-needed bottle of wine, but as the actors gathered on the stage and in the wings for Act One, Lilith couldn’t shake the feeling that their first full run-through of the play was going to be an unmitigated disaster.

Lilith watched in curiosity as Zelda took Leticia by the hand and walked her gently up the stairs and into the wings. It was Leticia’s turn to play Mamillius, as the twins traded places every other time that the young prince’s scenes came up, and Judas had had his turn already this morning. Truly, the fact that the children were twins did not at all ensure that there was consistency in the role. While Judas played Mamillius as he was written—as a rambunctious young boy who was the spitting image of his father—Leticia played the role as if the six-year-old boy had already been to a war and back. She had the potential to be a wonderful film actress, if the girl stayed in the business, because her acting was already subtle and nuanced like her mother's, but Lilith highly doubted that Leticia would follow in her parent's footsteps.

Lilith stood from her seat as Act One, Scene One, gave way to Scene Two. Lucifer, Faustus, Zelda, Leticia, and Lucas Chalfant, playing Camillo, entered the stage. When Lucifer-as-Polixenes announced his intention to return to Bohemia after having spent nine long months in Sicily, Faustus-as-Leontes insisted he stay. Polixenes was not swayed by Leontes’ request, however, and so Hermione attempted her own method of persuasion.

**HERMIONE**

_You'll stay?_

**POLIXENES**

_No, madam._

Lilith watched as Zelda slipped her arm around Lucifer’s elbow, leaning into him in a way that was decidedly more coquettish than Lilith had ever known Zelda to be herself. The action had the desired effect; even as Lucifer’s mouth continued to express his desire to leave, his body was clearly going to remain in place as long as Zelda-as-Hermione was touching him. Leontes was meant to misinterpret her actions as sexual, rather than playfully platonic, and Lilith had no trouble at all reading those emotions on Faustus’ face as the scene continued.

**HERMIONE**

_Nay, but you will?_

**POLIXENES**

_I may not, verily._

Even as he refused, Lucifer placed a hand over Zelda’s, as if to prevent her from removing it from his elbow. Zelda leaned into him, her flirtation within the bounds of friendship, but Lilith’s attention was focused on Faustus, whose face had darkened considerably.

**HERMIONE**

_Verily,_   
_You shall not go: a lady's 'Verily' 's_   
_As potent as a lord's. Will you go yet?_   
_Force me to keep you as a prisoner,_   
_Not like a guest; so you shall pay your fees_   
_When you depart, and save your thanks. How say you?_   
_My prisoner? or my guest? by your dread 'Verily,'_   
_One of them you shall be._

Lilith had to keep reminding herself that Zelda was just doing her job as the woman’s teasing voice filled the theater. She was so incredibly convincing as Hermione; if Lilith had been Polixenes, with Zelda’s charming voice tickling her ear, she would’ve happily abandoned her throne and country, if only to stay in the glow of the woman’s attention a while more. But she could certainly do without Lucifer positively _leering_ in response, like the cat who got the canary, which was enough to make her shudder.

**POLIXENES**

_Your guest, then, madam:_   
_To be your prisoner should import offending;_   
_Which is for me less easy to commit_   
_Than you to punish._

**HERMIONE**

_Not your jailer, then,_   
_But your kind hostess. Come, I'll question you_   
_Of my lord's tricks and yours when you were boys…_

After a few more witty exchanges, and several lingering touches, Faustus seemed to have had enough. His voice barely contained his fury as he said:

_Is he won yet?_

**HERMIONE**

_He'll stay my lord._

**LEONTES**

_At my request he would not._   
_Hermione, my dearest, thou never spokest_   
_To better purpose._

Lilith made a note in her script to talk to Faustus about pulling back on his anger and resentment. It was too soon for Leontes to reveal to the other characters that he was suspicious of the nature of his wife’s relationship to Polixenes. But the scene continued, with Leontes clearly coming apart by the second. When he addressed the audience, Faustus made a point to look directly at Lilith as he delivered his monologue. Lilith felt a shiver run down her spine at the manic fury within his eyes.

**LEONTES**

[Aside] _Too hot, too hot!_  
 _To mingle friendship far is mingling bloods._  
 _I have tremor cordis on me: my heart dances;_  
 _But not for joy; not joy. This entertainment_  
 _May a free face put on, derive a liberty_  
 _From heartiness, from bounty, fertile bosom,_  
 _And well become the agent; 't may, I grant;_  
 _But to be paddling palms and pinching fingers,_  
 _As now they are, and making practiced smiles,_  
 _As in a looking-glass, and then to sigh, as 'twere_  
 _The mort o' the deer; O, that is entertainment_  
 _My bosom likes not, nor my brows!_

Suddenly, Faustus turned away from the audience and beckoned to Leticia, not quite hiding the madness from his voice now that he was addressing his child:

_Mamillius,_   
_Art thou my boy?_

Leticia nearly jumped out of her skin at being addressed so intensely, despite knowing that this was a part of the scene. Lilith had explained to Leticia and Judas, as gently and appropriately as she could, that Leontes suspected Mamillius might not be his child. Lilith left out the finer details of adultery, and how a baby is conceived, but the children still seemed to understand that Leontes wasn’t angry at _them_ , he was angry at the Queen. Even so, Leticia looked terrified as she responded to her father in a tiny voice that was far too quiet for the stage:

_Ay, my good lord._

**LEONTES**

_What, hast smutch'd thy nose?_   
_They say it is a copy out of mine._

When Faustus reached out to wipe the nonexistent dirt off of Leticia’s nose, Lilith was alarmed to see the girl flinch back to avoid his touch. Something primal stirred deep inside Lilith. She wanted to stop the scene and take the child immediately into the protection of her arms, but Faustus was already speaking again:

_How now, you wanton calf!_   
_Art thou my calf?_

**MAMILLIUS**

_Yes, if you will, my lord._

Lilith watched the rest of the interaction with bated breath, but Leticia seemed to warm up to the scene as it unfolded, and Faustus, too, was calming down as he interacted with his child instead of Lucifer or Zelda. Eventually, Camillo, the King’s most trusted advisor, announced that Polixenes had decided to stay, and that it was Hermione’s abilities of persuasion, not Leontes', that had done it. Faustus seemed poised on the razor’s edge between composure and utter lunacy. It was making Lilith’s stomach bubble with uneasiness.

**CAMILLO**

_I think most understand_   
_Bohemia stays here longer._

**LEONTES**

_Ay, but why?_

**CAMILLO**

_To satisfy your highness and the entreaties_   
_Of our most gracious mistress._

**LEONTES**

_Satisfy!_   
_The entreaties of your mistress! satisfy!_   
_Let that suffice._

Faustus gestured wildly at Lucifer and Zelda, who were carrying on an animated, mimed conversation in the downstage left corner of the set, in full view of both the other characters on the stage as well as the audience. The simulated conversation was meant to appear overly flirtatious, to give credit to Leontes’ increasing jealousy. The interaction was unscripted and mostly improvised every time, which is why Lilith’s mouth went dry as Lucifer reached up to stroke Zelda’s cheek. _That_ was definitely not her idea of platonic flirtation.

Faustus seemed to agree, because he proceeded to launch into his most aggressive rendering of the monologue, “Is whispering nothing?” yet:

_Is whispering nothing?_   
_Is leaning cheek to cheek? is meeting noses?_   
_Kissing with inside lip? stopping the career_   
_Of laughing with a sigh?—a note infallible_   
_Of breaking honesty—horsing foot on foot?_   
_Skulking in corners? wishing clocks more swift?_   
_Hours, minutes? noon, midnight? and all eyes_   
_Blind with the pin and web but theirs, theirs only,_   
_That would unseen be wicked? is this nothing?_   
_Why, then the world and all that's in't is nothing;_   
_The covering sky is nothing; Bohemia nothing;_

Faustus came dangerously close to breaking character as he ignored his blocking and headed downstage left, clearly intent on interrupting Zelda and Lucifer's pantomime. He stopped just short of touching Zelda, whose back was to him as she pretended to laugh at something Polixenes had said. Lilith could sense the tension in the room skyrocket; it felt as if not a single person in the whole theater were breathing.

 **My** _**wife** _ **is nothing;**

Rather than shout these words, as Faustus had tended to do in previous rehearsals, he instead leaned very close over Zelda’s shoulder and whispered them into her ear. Lilith felt her blood freeze in her veins. No one dared to move or breathe. Even Lucifer, who was facing Faustus and clearly furious at the deviation, remained frozen in place.

Eventually, Faustus was the one to break the spell. He gave Zelda one last look, which promised something sinister, before turning away and walking back to center stage. Lilith’s eyes flickered between Zelda, who had not moved a single muscle in her body since Faustus had advanced on her, and Faustus himself, who seemed to be waiting to have Lilith’s full attention before he finished his monologue:

_Nor nothing have these nothings,_   
_If this be nothing._

Faustus’ eyes dared her to say something, anything, about his choice to blatantly disrespect her blocking and put all of his castmates on edge. Luke seemed to have forgotten that Camillo was meant to respond to this monologue, as he was thoroughly distracted by Faustus having gone rogue. The silence fell like a heavy fog around them as no one knew what to do to keep the play going.

It was Leticia who shocked them all out of their daze. The girl, who had exited the stage not too long ago, came running back out of the wings, and flung herself into Zelda’s legs. " _Mama!”_

Zelda’s soul seemed to return to her body now that Leticia’s tears were soaking into her dress. She looked up at Lilith, as if to apologize for the interruption her daughter had caused, which only solidified Lilith’s intention to give Blackwood a piece of her mind.

“Take five, everyone. Except _you_ , Mr. Blackwood. You are to meet me in the green room. _Now_.”


	11. Be it Forbid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith confronts Faustus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist giving you a little more, since this chapter has been on my mind all week. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Content Warning: there is implied/referenced abuse in this chapter (as well as a fist fight, though I don't think anyone will be particularly bothered by who gets punched!)

The green room was a dreary concrete box with a couch, an armchair, a mirror, and a costume rack all placed very close together, so as to make the room crowded, not cozy. The moment they were alone, Lilith tore into Faustus like she had never done before.

“What the _hell_ was that, Blackwood?”

“That was called ‘acting,’ Lilith. Perhaps you should learn to recognize it,” said Faustus, sitting down cockily in the armchair as if it were a throne.

“ _That,”_ said Lilith, her fury rising by the second as she pointed in the general direction of the stage, “was not acting. You blatantly ignored my directions in order to harass your ex-wife in front of the entire company—not to mention _your children_.”

Faustus scoffed. “I never even touched her.”

“You didn’t _have_ to touch her,” said Lilith as she curled her hands into fists. “The threat was clear.”

“ _I_ wasn’t threatening her. Leontes was,” said Faustus slowly, as if he were speaking to a particularly dumb child. “I am simply performing the role as it is written.”

As much as Lilith wanted to keep insisting that Faustus was out of line, his reasoning was starting to eat away at her resolve. “Nowhere in the script does it say that you perform the ‘is whispering nothing’ monologue in the Queen’s ear.”

“They’re not even supposed to be on stage, Lilith,” said Faustus in a bored tone. “Hermione and Polixenes are supposed to exit. You’re the one who kept her on the stage for that monologue, so if you want someone to blame for this whole situation, you can blame yourself.”

Lilith’s breath was coming in heavy gasps as her anger reached an intolerable level. “I’m not changing the blocking solely because I can’t trust _you_ to be around your ex-wife.”

“The person you _really_ shouldn’t trust around her is Lucifer,” said Faustus, finally showing a flicker of emotion other than smug superiority.

Lilith didn’t like the blame being constantly passed around like a hot baton, but she couldn’t help the dread that filled her upon hearing those words. “Why do you say that?”

“He hurt her badly enough to warrant a trip to the hospital,” snarled Faustus, slamming his fist on the arm of his chair. “We might be divorced, but I don’t want him _killing_ her. Especially when the court of public opinion would convict _me_. Can you imagine the scandal—what would’ve been printed in the papers two months ago—if I had taken her to the hospital in the state she was in?”

“What I’m hearing is an admission that the only one allowed to abuse and intimidate Zelda is you," said Lilith, not allowing herself to dwell on the idea that Lucifer had hurt Zelda badly enough to need a doctor, and that apparently, she hadn't seen one in order to preserve Faustus' reputation.

Faustus’ eyes flashed dangerously. “You couldn’t possibly begin to understand what Zelda and I have together. She came _crawling_ back to me after Lucifer had had his fun. She didn’t speak for twenty-four hours—and when she did speak, it was only to say that her brother would have killed her if she didn’t make things right.”

Once again, Lilith found herself three steps behind, but all roads seemed to lead to Edward Spellman.

“I thought her brother was dead?” said Lilith as Faustus stood from his chair.

“He is.”

He stepped closer, invading her space, but Lilith stood her ground.

“Then why is Zelda afraid he’ll hurt her?”

“Some secrets go beyond the grave, and Zelda has _always_ had her secrets,” Faustus made a show of picking a piece of imaginary lint off of his sleeve. “The baby, for instance.”

That was enough to send Lilith's heart into her throat. “You know about... how?”

“She’s my wife,” Faustus said, as if that was the beginning and end of it all. “We’ve lost three children in six years. I know when my wife is pregnant.”

Lilith’s mouth went dry. “And yet, you would threaten a pregnant woman in full view of her family and children? Let’s not forget, that’s why we’re here.”

“Is it?” asked Faustus, tilting his head, a malevolent gleam in his eye. “I thought we were here because you hate Lucifer as much as I do, and you need my help.”

“I don’t want your help,” Lilith spat. “But what… what are you after?”

“I don’t have to tell _you_ that secrets are weapons, Lilith,” Faustus’ eyes were far too knowing—but how could he possibly know…? “The one that Zelda is keeping is catastrophic enough that she is willing to give her body and sanity to a man she has never trusted, not even for a moment. What does that tell you about the secret, hmm?”

Lilith didn’t like being played. “Just tell me what you want, so I can say ‘no,’ and we can go back to rehearsal.”

Faustus just continued to smile, though his eyes had hardened to stone. “I want Lucifer gone, and so do you.”

His words were like having a block of ice slipped into the neck of her blouse. The icy sensation crept down her back as she said, “Do you mean _fired_? Arrested? Or do you mean… _dead_?”

Faustus looked around the green room, as if to check that they were indeed alone. “What do you think? I know for a fact that that baby is either mine or his. You can think whatever you like of me, but if you’d seen Zelda after just one weekend with him, you would know that it would be better for everyone involved if she said that the baby was mine and _only_ mine—especially if Lucifer wasn’t in a position to contest it.”

Lilith was still trying to wrap her head around the idea that Faustus wanted Lucifer dead—and that she was meant to help him do it—when two sets of feet came running down the stairs that led from the green room up to the stage

“What the hell is taking so long?!” said Ambrose as he came thundering around the corner.

“How _dare_ you!?” added Hilda, following close behind. When she advanced on Faustus, Lilith was tempted to let her at him, but her duty to preserving the peace meant that she stuck out a staying hand instead.

“I’m handling it, Hilda—” Lilith began.

“Lovely to see you, sister,” Faustus interrupted with a smirk.

“I’m Zelda’s sister, not yours,” spat Hilda, completely ignoring Lilith as Ambrose stepped forward.

“I swear, if you don’t leave Auntie Zee alone, you’ll wish you’d never been born,” said Ambrose, passing Lilith and Hilda in order to shove Faustus hard enough that he fell back into the armchair.

“It’s not _me_ you should be worried about,” said Faustus, shrugging his shoulders, as if this whole situation bored him. “I know I’m the easiest target, but you’ll see soon enough that you have it all wrong—every single one of you.”

“Hilda, Ambrose, go back upstairs. I’m _handling_ it,” Lilith insisted, dragging Hilda bodily back toward the door and beckoning for Ambrose to follow. “You’re not helping anyone by coming down here halfcocked—”

“Leticia won’t stop crying. She can’t be consoled, no matter what Zelda tries,” said Hilda over Lilith’s shoulder as she was dragged away, towards the door. “I hope you’re happy. You’ve finally shown your true colors in front of everyone, and there will be hell to pay for it.”

“I cannot stress this enough: I was _acting_ ,” insisted Faustus as he abruptly stood up, causing Ambrose to stumble backward. “Zelda understands that. But all of you nitwits are up in arms about it—why?—because I frightened a six-year-old girl who still believes there are monsters in her closet?”

“There might not be monsters in her closet, but there sure as hell is a monster in her house,” growled Ambrose.

“Prove it,” said Faustus, lifting his palms to the sky. “Oh right—you can’t. So, get out of my way, boy.”

Ambrose didn’t move. Faustus took another step forward, moving so close that their chests were hardly an inch apart. “You like to pretend you’re the man of the house, eh? But you are _nothing._ You can’t see farther than your nose. A _real_ man would know when he’s being played for a fool—no, a _clown—_ fulfilling your role in this godforsaken play.”

Suddenly, Ambrose swung his arm in a sharp right hook, landing squarely on Faustus’ jaw. Hilda screamed as Lilith launched herself towards the two men, who had fallen to the ground as a result of their brawl. Fists flew as Lilith attempted to separate them, and Hilda yelled for them all to stop. Lilith caught an elbow to the eye as she grabbed Ambrose by the arms and hauled him away from Faustus, but she had hardly separated them when a sharp voice rang out:

“Stop! Stop this at once!”

Everyone froze. Lilith held Ambrose in a half-nelson, while Faustus laid panting on the floor, massaging his jaw. Hilda was the first to move.

“Zelds! You shouldn’t be here,” said Hilda nervously as she moved toward her sister, her hands held aloft, as if preparing to placate her.

“Faustus, I thought you might like to know that your daughter has finally calmed down,” said Zelda with a piercing gaze directed towards her ex-husband lying on the ground. “But it appears you would rather tussle with my nephew than tend to your children.”

Faustus scrambled up, straightening his suit and tie as he did. “Oh, so we’re acknowledging that they are indeed _my_ children, now, are we?”

All of the oxygen was promptly sucked from the room as everyone stared in awe of the spectacle.

“Leticia and Judas are as much my children as they are yours, Faustus. I delivered them into this world. I have nursed every fever, soothed every tantrum… I have protected and cared for them as a mother should,” declared Zelda, her eyes flickering from Faustus to Ambrose, who was still being restrained by Lilith’s stronghold. Eventually, her eyes returned to her ex-husband, her gaze as cold as the tip of a witch’s nose. “I wanted to wait to tell you this, until we might be given some privacy, but it appears that might not be in anyone’s best interest. There’s going to be a retrial. The judge is allowing new evidence. You’re in for the fight of your life.”

With that, Zelda turned on her heel and swept up the staircase, leaving everyone behind her frozen in place, with only the hint of her perfume and the echo of her words to remind them that she had ever been there.


	12. Touch'd His Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cast goes right back to work on The Winter's Tale after Faustus' improvised blocking. Even the younger cast members are beginning to notice the parallels. Leticia doesn't want to go home with Faustus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm always nervous to update a fic after some time has passed, because the pressure to make it worthy of the wait is very real to me. Let me know how I did! Your comments truly keep this story alive; I re-read them often to inspire myself to keep working.
> 
> "The Invisible String" by Patrice Karst is a children's book about missing your second parent when the family has been split up by a divorce. It helps children understand that they're still connected to their father or mother, even if they don't live with them. Here is a little blurb from the book: "People who love each other are always connected by a very special String, made of love. Even though you can’t see it with your eyes, you can feel it deep in your heart, and know that you are always connected to the ones you love.”

Lilith wanted to just cut her losses and send the whole cast home after the horrific stunt Faustus pulled during his monologue, but there was still an hour and a half left of rehearsal, and she knew that sending them all home was exactly what Faustus wanted. She was beginning to see the truth beneath the layers and layers of lies, and so at least one thing was certain: Faustus would love nothing more than to see the production cancelled. He was sabotaging the show, moment by moment, day by day, and the question of “why” was becoming frighteningly clear.

Well, if there was one thing Lilith knew how to do, it was to persevere. She wasn’t about to be manipulated into doing exactly what Faustus wanted. She had worked too long and too hard to make it in the theatre industry as a female director; she wasn’t about to let that all go to hell in a handbasket just because Faustus was a little bitch.

(Those weren’t her words—she’d overheard Hilda call Faustus a “little bitch” after he left the green room earlier. Lilith rather liked that description. She was enjoying a number of fantasies where she said those words to his face after kicking him in his privates).

Pulling herself together and taking a deep breath, Lilith addressed her cast once more. “Back to work, everyone! Seeing as our Leontes needs some time to reexamine his blocking, we’ll skip to Camillo’s ‘O miserable lady’ monologue. Lucifer, be prepared to enter stage left.”

As Lucas Chalfant walked to the center of the stage to begin his speech, Lilith turned so that she could briefly check on the actors in the audience behind her. Hilda and Zelda were sitting to her left, with their heads together, whispering. Various others were strewn about the audience, working diligently to silently memorize their lines. The younger cast was huddled in the back of the theater, clearly doing not a lick of work, but rather gossiping about the drama of it all.

Faustus was nowhere to be seen.

Lucas looked considerably lost as he began his speech. During previous rehearsals, he’d always spoken with the confidence of a boy freshly out of drama school, with a fancy degree in a shiny frame to prove his skill. But now, it seemed that the uncomfortable truth of the speech was finally sinking in. He suddenly understood what Camillo was trying to convey to the audience, and the speech was no longer just a way to show off his talent, but rather the words were fraught with a strange dose of reality:

_O miserable lady! But, for me,_ _  
What case stand I in? I must be the poisoner  
Of good Polixenes; and my ground to do't  
Is the obedience to a master, one  
Who in rebellion with himself will have  
All that are his so too. To do this deed,  
Promotion follows. If I could find example  
Of thousands that had struck anointed kings  
And flourish'd after, I'ld not do't; but since  
Nor brass nor stone nor parchment bears not one,  
Let villainy itself forswear't. I must  
Forsake the court: to do't, or no, is certain  
To me a break-neck. Happy star, reign now!  
Here comes Bohemia._

When Lucifer walked out onto the stage, it was with the arrogance of a peacock. Luke’s eyes went wide, as if he were seeing Lucifer-as-Polixenes for the very first time, as the _King_ might see him. Their exchange was charged, Luke walking the razor’s edge of staying in character and falling to pieces. Lucifer, for his part, played an innocent man very convincingly. After the required back and forth, where Camillo withheld the information of the King’s orders until he couldn’t anymore, Luke said in a rush:

_I am appointed him to murder you._

**POLIXENES**

_By whom, Camillo?_

**CAMILLO**

_By the king._

**POLIXENES**

_For what?_

**CAMILLO**

_He thinks, nay, with all confidence he swears,_ _  
As he had seen't or been an instrument  
To vice you to't, that you have—_

Luke paused, though doing so completely ruined the rhythm of the line. Lilith didn’t need to turn again to know that Luke was staring in Zelda’s direction. It sent a chill down her spine, knowing that Faustus’ behavior had caused such a public humiliation—that even the younger members of the cast were suspicious of her having cheated on him.

Luke stared at Zelda for about three moments too long for Lilith to tolerate. She cleared her throat, indicating he should continue, but it only prompted him to keep speaking; it did not end his staring.

**_touch'd_ ** _his queen_

Lilith’s anger rose inside her chest at the way Lucas leant on the word “touched.” She turned to look at Zelda, to see how she was taking the sudden spotlight, just as Lucas added the final word of his line with far too much weight:

_—Forbiddenly._

Zelda, for her part, did not dignify his choice to direct the words at her in the audience with any acknowledgment besides lifting her chin. Lilith was impressed by her composure. She certainly wouldn’t have remained calm in the face of a tactless twenty-something sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.

Lilith was torn from her thoughts as Lucifer began to speak:

_O, then my best blood turn_ _  
To an infected jelly and my name  
Be yoked with his that did betray the Best!  
Turn then my freshest reputation to  
A savour that may strike the dullest nostril  
Where I arrive, and my approach be shunn’d,  
Nay, hated too, worse than the great’st infection  
That e’er was heard or read!_

As the scene wound up, Lilith decided that she had had quite enough tension for one day. Not wanting to make Zelda and Leticia get back up onto the stage for the next scene, Lilith called it a night. The whole cast seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief, though that relief was incredibly short-lived, as Leticia began to cry, refusing to go home with her father.

“No! No!” shrieked Leticia as Faustus tried to pick her up.

“Really, Faustus, it’s only one night. Why not let her stay with me?” reasoned Zelda as she ran her fingers over Leticia’s hair in a soothing motion.

“We switch on Saturday afternoons, and not a moment earlier,” growled Faustus. “You might think the appeal will go through, but until it does, they’re still mine and only mine, every other week.”

The argument was beginning to draw a number of stares, though most of the eyes belonged to members of the Spellman-Blackwood clan; the rest were pointedly pretending not to listen.

“Faustus, be reasonable—”

“I am a reasonable man. It is _you_ who wants to break a binding contract.”

Zelda bent down to cover Leticia’s ears. In a harsh whisper, she said, “She’s a child, Faustus. She doesn’t understand that legally, you have her for a certain amount of time. All she knows is that she wants her mother, and you’re keeping her from me.”

“I’m doing nothing of the sort,” insisted Faustus, which prompted Hilda to scoff in disbelief. His eyes narrowed at her before turning to his ex-wife once more. “The girl will learn. This is what a divorce _means_ , unless, of course, you would like to come home with me tonight. Then she would have both of us, like it ought to be.”

“She’s not going home with you,” growled Hilda.

“Yeah,” said Sabrina crossing her arms.

Leticia tore Zelda’s hands off of her ears. “I want to stay with _Mama_!”

Judas ran to her, trying to wrap his arms around his sister. “Tomorrow, ‘Ticia, we just have to wait ‘til tomorrow!”

Leticia tore herself away from her brother’s embrace. “No!”

Ambrose was next to try and reason with the child. He kneeled on the ground, so that they were at eye-level. “Leticia, remember the book we read last Sunday?”

Tearfully, Leticia nodded her head.

“Remember the invisible string?”

Leticia seemed to understand what he meant, though no one else in the circle of onlookers seemed to.

“But what if it gets cut?” cried Leticia. Lilith looked to Zelda, wondering if she was making any sense of this, but the woman’s face was scrunched up in confusion.

“It won’t,” said Ambrose, motioning to the rest of the Spellman clan. “We won’t let it, ok?”

“What nonsense have you taught my daughter?” spat Faustus, moving towards Leticia, but Lilith blocked his path.

“Can’t you see that he’s finally getting through to her?” said Lilith under her breath, hoping Leticia couldn’t hear.

Zelda moved to kneel beside Ambrose, sensing that this was what Leticia needed. Lilith was concerned by how slowly Zelda moved her body, though she figured there were things about pregnancy and how it changed your body that Lilith simply didn’t understand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, Leticia, and then we’ll have the whole week together, darling,” said Zelda, brushing her fingers against the girl’s cheek.

“Promise?” said Leticia, and oh, Lilith could cry at how resigned the girl looked to her fate.

“Promise,” said Zelda, leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead.

“Let’s go,” ordered Faustus. Leticia went to him, with no further protest. Watching Faustus leave with Judas in one hand and Leticia in the other made something primal twist in Lilith’s chest.

When Lilith turned back to the group, Ambrose, Sabrina, and Hilda had already moved to gather their things. Zelda remained kneeling on the floor, looking at the space where Leticia had been only moments ago.

“Zelda? Are you alright?” said Lilith carefully as she went to stand in front of her.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” said Zelda, though she still made no move to stand up. Lilith wondered if it was because she physically couldn’t.

“Do you need a hand?”

Zelda glared at the offending appendage, but eventually accepted the help. Lilith noticed as she stood that her body seemed to flinch, as if the motion pained her. Zelda’s right hand ghosted over her lower abdomen before she appeared to remember that she was in public, and could not be seen touching her stomach.

Looking around to make sure that the rest of the cast was busy, Lilith leaned in to whisper in Zelda’s ear, “You need to see a doctor.”

Zelda gave her a look that plainly said this was not the time nor the place to have such a discussion. “I’ve told you, no.”

“What if I took you to see a trusted friend instead?” Lilith said in a rush, keeping one eye on their surroundings to make sure no one was taking too much interest in their conversation.

“Is this ‘friend’ also a doctor?” said Zelda scathingly, but the exhaustion in her eyes undercut her tone.

“She’s a kind of… medicine woman,” said Lilith, not knowing exactly how to explain Mambo Marie’s talents. “I know that she has knowledge and skills that might help you.”

Zelda’s eyes flickered to her sister, who was busy arguing with Sabrina and Ambrose over what they should have for dinner. “Are you sure she can be trusted?”

“Absolutely,” said Lilith. If there was one person in the whole universe that Lilith trusted implicitly, it was Mambo Marie LaFleur. “Please, will you meet her? You don’t have to tell her anything, or let her… you know. But I think you’ll know the moment you see her that she’s just the kind of person you need.”

“Zelds! How does a bit of yummy pizza sound for dinner?” called Hilda, interrupting their conversation.

Zelda jumped at being so suddenly addressed, but recovered quickly. “We can have pizza on one condition: no pineapple.”

Lilith smiled at the seriousness of Zelda’s tone as she said the word, “pineapple,” as if even the idea itself were offensive to her.

“As you wish, Your Majesty,” said Hilda teasingly.

Zelda sighed, running her hands over her face. Lilith put what she hoped was a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Sleep on it, okay?”

“I will,” Zelda said as she dropped her hands. “Thank you… Lilith.”

Lilith smiled, and was about to say, “You’re welcome,” but then they were interrupted once more by Sabrina cheering, “Pepperoni! Yes!” while Hilda was on the phone, making the order.

“I would ask you to join us for dinner,” said Zelda, a shadow of a smirk creeping across her face. “But I doubt ‘Friday night pizza’ is your idea of a second date.”

With that, Zelda moved to join her family, leaving Lilith standing there, speechless, and thinking: “ _Second_ date?”


	13. Starred Most Unluckily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith introduces Zelda to her friend, Marie LaFleur. Some jealousy and embarrassment ensues.

When Lilith got home, she went directly to the wine on the counter that Zelda had brought as a dinner gift. It was a Friday night, after all, and she’d had one hell of a week. It was difficult to uncork, as the wine was vintage and the stopper was practically disintegrating as she shoved the screw in. Cork bits scattered everywhere as she yanked it out with a loud: “pop.”

Lilith lifted a large wine glass down from the highest spot in her cabinet. She liked to put things that weren’t exactly good for her health just a _bit_ out of reach, so that she’d be less inclined to use them. But all week the wine had felt like it was burning a hole in her counter, so she thought it was high time to give into temptation.

As she poured far more than a single serving into her glass, Lilith’s mind wandered. She’d need to get in contact with her dear friend, Marie Lafleur, though the woman was notoriously impossible to reach. Perhaps she could just show up in the morning with Zelda in tow; in all the time that Lilith had known her, Marie had never turned a guest—or a patient, for that matter—away.

Lilith brought the wine up to her nose to smell it before swirling it to see if it had any legs—it did. She expected it would, as she imagined Zelda would never bring subpar wine to a dinner party. What was more curious was the fact that merlot was indeed her favorite type of wine; how had Zelda known?

Taking her first sip, Lilith appreciated the notes of blackberry, plum, and raspberry. She knew she ought to eat something for dinner first, but she wasn’t particularly hungry after the events of the day. She could feel a bruise forming around her left eye, where Ambrose’s elbow had made solid contact as she tried to pull him off of Faustus.

Lilith closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. Why was nothing ever easy?

Walking into her bedroom, Lilith cast her gaze around the mostly empty space. She’d lived a vagabond lifestyle for the last thirty years or so. She was in a new city practically every six months, which was just fine by her—Lilith never liked to stay in one place for very long, lest she begin to grow roots. The irony of it all was that the constant traveling had been partially to avoid Lucifer, whose unwelcome presence she could usually avoid by ignoring London, New York, and Vancouver—an unfortunate choice when it came to her career, but wonderful in terms of maintaining her sanity.

But after thirty years, Lilith had thought it was high time she stopped running.

Lilith’s thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing. Putting down her wine on her bedside table, she pulled out her phone from her pocket and answered it without looking at the caller ID, knowing exactly who would be on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Lilith?” said Zelda. “I’m sorry to bother you—I know it’s late—but I thought we might need to discuss our… plan for tomorrow.”

Lilith smiled as her body flooded with relief. “So, you’ve decided to see Marie, then?”

There was a long pause before Zelda responded, “I think… if she can be trusted…”

“She can,” Lilith insisted, sitting on her bed and taking up her wine once more.

“Then I suppose I’m in no position to refuse. I’m already farther along than I expected to be. My… well… most of my miscarriages happened within the first eight weeks. I haven’t made it past ten weeks since… since…”

Lilith sucked in a deep breath, hearing Lucifer’s mocking voice inside her head: _She’s had three miscarriages and a stillbirth. If she bloody_ sneezes, _she’ll lose the baby._

“…since I was younger and far more in control of my health,” Zelda finishes, her voice suddenly hoarse with emotion. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to unburden myself.”

“Don’t apologize,” said Lilith, a lump forming in the back of her throat. “I’ll pick you up early tomorrow. We can tell your family we’re getting breakfast.”

Some lightness came back into Zelda’s voice at that. “How scandalous!”

Lilith chuckled. “It’s not nearly as scandalous as what we’re actually doing.”

“True,” said Zelda around a yawn.

“You should get some sleep,” said Lilith, eyeing the clock. It wasn’t particularly late, but the events of the day would put a strain on anyone, pregnant or not.

“Lilith?” Zelda said, her voice soft.

Lilith held her breath, not remembering a time when her name had been spoken so softly. “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

With that, Zelda promptly hung up, leaving Lilith alone with her thoughts and a half-finished glass of merlot.

* * *

Pulling up to the Spellman townhouse was a strange experience. While the producers had found modest accommodation above a flower shop for Lilith, the needs of the Spellman clan were much greater, and so they’d been given a quaint brick townhouse that overlooked the Hudson Valley.

Zelda was already waiting on the steps, garbed in a loose-fitting, dark-blue summer dress, despite the slight chill in the early-morning air.

Lilith debated getting out of the car to open the passenger-side door for her, but thought better of it; such unnecessary chivalry might only serve to embarrass them both.

“Good morning,” Lilith said, her eyes drawn to the slit in Zelda’s dress that went all the way up to her thigh.

Noticing this, Zelda rearranged the fabric as she sat down, lifting her eyebrow. “Good morning to you, too.”

Lilith tore her gaze away in favor of checking her mirrors. She was just about to pull out of the driveway when Zelda’s voice interrupted her efforts.

“Wait,” said Zelda, stopping Lilith’s right hand from shifting gears. Stick shift rental cars were much cheaper, and so Lilith had opted for one upon arriving in New York. Lucifer had been the one to teach her how to drive a stick, but she promptly shoved that memory to the back of her mind.

“Did you forget something?” said Lilith, confused.

Instead of answering, Zelda reached out, slowly so as not to spook her, and turned Lilith’s head with a gentle touch to her jaw. Lilith was completely shocked and frozen by the gesture, though she found she relished the tenderness of it.

“You have a black eye,” Zelda said, her voice thick with emotion. “Did Faustus do that to you?”

“No,” said Lilith, taking Zelda’s hand gently off of her chin so she could squeeze it in reassurance. “I was trying to break up the fight, sure, but this bruise was from Ambrose’s elbow. He didn’t mean to do it.”

Zelda didn’t look convinced. “You should never have gotten involved. Ambrose can hold his own in a fight—and Satan knows Faustus has a violent temper. You could have been seriously hurt.”

Lilith was touched by this concern, even if it was unnecessary. She’d suffered far worse than a bump to the eye at the hands of Lucifer—though she would never say that out loud. She didn’t think Zelda needed to hear about any past pain right now.

“I’m alright. I promise,” said Lilith, dropping Zelda’s hand so she could shift gears.

Most of the ride passed in silence. As they drove south towards New York City, Lilith noticed Zelda becoming more and more visibly uncomfortable.

“Is everything ok?”

“I didn’t know we would be going into the city today…” said Zelda, pulling the sun visor down in the hope of blocking some of her face from view.

“I’m sorry—I didn’t think to tell you,” said Lilith, not having considered that Zelda might object to the location of Marie’s…practice.

Zelda reached into her purse, pulling out a scarf and sunglasses. Lilith watched out of the corner of her eye as Zelda took pains to hide her golden-red curls from view. While she was meant to keep her hair straight for the production, Lilith was amused by the fact that clearly all it took was a night’s rest and the curls were right back to their natural curl.

“I should’ve known,” said Zelda, putting on her sunglasses. “You mentioned your friend is a bit… unconventional. That sort of thing is much more accepted in Manhattan than in the Hudson Valley.”

“Marie is a unique woman,” Lilith agreed as they went over a bridge. “Back in Haiti, she was an important religious leader in her community, but then she moved to the French Quarter of New Orleans after the 2010 earthquake destroyed her home, killing most of her congregants—and family.”

“How awful,” said Zelda, taking in the Manhattan skyline. It was a bit foggy that morning, so it was harder to see the distinct lines of the skyscrapers. “How did she wind up in New York, then? And how was it that you two came to meet each other?”

Lilith chuckled. “I did some work a while back organizing musical and theatrical performances for the military. Marie had enlisted as a field medic in the Air Force when she couldn’t make enough money with her shop at first. Those days—and this was nine years ago, mind you—it felt like we might be the only women who weren’t career military people on the entire base. We became close.”

Silence fell for a while as they traveled nearer to their destination on the upper west side.

“How close?” said Zelda, so long after the conversation had ended that Lilith almost forgot what she’d said.

“We didn’t date, if that’s what you’re asking,” said Lilith, smiling, “but we almost did. You’ll see for yourself in a few minutes—Marie is one of a kind.”

Lilith pulled into a parking garage—which had to be one of her least favorite things about driving in New York City—handed her keys to the young valet, and made it around the car to Zelda’s door in record time, not wanting her to struggle to get out in front of a stranger.

“I’ve told you, I’m not an invalid,” Zelda said, though she took Lilith’s offered hand without further protest, which Lilith found incredibly charming.

The walk to the shop was slow-going. Zelda was quite fatigued even from a short walk, though Lilith thought it best not to point it out. Besides, it was nice to walk arm-in-arm, taking in the sights and smells of a Saturday morning in the city.

When they reached the shop, Lilith could sense the moment Zelda read the sign as she tore her arm out of Lilith’s grasp.

“Haitian _Vodou_? You’ve brought me to a _witch_ doctor?” Zelda whispered harshly, aware that Marie could see them through the shop window.

“She’s not just a _vodouisant._ I told you, she was a highly-trained military medic when I knew her.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Marie opening the door.

“Welcome! _Bienvenue_! Come, come _mes amies_. You are here at last!” Marie reached to take Zelda’s hand and practically dragged her into the shop. Lilith had to stifle a laugh at the scandalized look that Zelda shot over her shoulder as she was ushered into the Haitian house.

Rather than remain in the front of the shop, with all of its windows, Marie ushered them into the back room. It was a beautiful place, filled with talismans, tapestries, and sacred objects from all over the world.

“ _Enchant_ _é, ch_ _érie_!” Marie said, kissing Zelda’s hand as she directed her to sit on the table—which looked a bit more like an altar covered in a sheet than anything else. “ _Je suis_ Mambo Marie LaFleur. I am, how you say, at your service!”

“It’s good to see you again, Marie,” said Lilith, offering her hand, which Marie immediately used to pull her in for a hug.

“It has been too long, _mon amie_ , too long!” said Marie, kissing Lilith on both cheeks. In her peripheral vision, Lilith saw Zelda’s face change to an expression of surprise—and was that… _jealousy_?

Lilith noticed that she’d taken her sunglasses off, now that they were in a private room without windows. Her eyes were astonishingly green.

Turning back to Marie, Lilith said, “I know, I know, I don’t get to the city as often as I should. But can you blame me? The Hudson Valley— _c’est magnifique_.”

“Eh? I see you remember some things,” said Marie, arching her brow at Lilith’s terrible French accent. “ _Tanpri_ , who is this goddess you have brought to me?”

Zelda blushed at the compliment as Marie came to stand in front of her, placing her hands provocatively on either side of Zelda’s knees.

“This is Zelda Spellman. She’s the woman I was telling you about,” said Lilith, her eyes narrowing a bit at how red Zelda’s face had become as Marie leaned into her space. Maybe bringing Zelda here wasn’t the best idea she’d ever had.

“I do not need instruments to tell me you are pregnant, madame. The two souls have intertwined,” said Marie, placing a hand on Zelda’s stomach without asking, but Lilith marveled at the fact that Zelda didn’t seem to mind—or else was too shocked to react.

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about… _vodou,_ Madame LaFleur,” said Zelda nervously as she looked to Lilith for support.

Lilith came to stand beside Zelda as Marie clicked her tongue. “That will not do, _ch_ _érie_. You must call me Marie. And I do not do that hoodoo-vodou bullshit. I am a licensed medical professional, _n’est-ce pas_?”

Zelda nodded, placing her hand over Marie’s on her stomach. “I didn’t mean to offend. It’s just… I am in need of a medical exam, but I couldn’t possibly go to an obstetrician without it becoming public knowledge.”

“I can feel you have a strong hatred for the father. That is why the baby will look too much like him,” Marie said, wagging a finger in front of Zelda’s eyes before moving to find her tools.

Lilith’s mouth went dry. “Marie! I told you this was a… _delicate_ situation.”

“She is not delicate, _mon amie_. Her _met-tet_ is strong. She will be fine if we talk woman to woman, right, _ch_ _érie?”_

Zelda looked between Marie and Lilith with mild alarm, as if she didn’t know what speaking “woman to woman” meant.

“What would you like to know?” said Zelda as Marie came towards her with a pen light to check her pupillary response.

“I know all I need to know by touching the child. I can feel the question inside you, _ch_ _érie,_ and so I will tell you: he will live.”

“He?” said Zelda, looking faint. When Zelda turned to look at Lilith with a frightened, baffled expression, pain sliced through Lilith’s chest like a hot knife through butter.

“ _Je suis d_ _ésol_ _ée, ch_ _érie_! My manners—they have abandoned me. I have let the cat out of the bag, as you say,” said Marie as she produced a hammer-like object out of her pocket and began checking Zelda’s reflexes despite the other woman having not yet recovered from the revelation.

“How do you know it’s a boy?” said Lilith, feeling slightly sick at the idea of a miniature Faustus or Lucifer running around. “Even with your powers of intuition, Marie, that’s something you have to see on a sonogram—and even then, I don’t think you can see that…sort of thing… until much later in a pregnancy.”

Marie sucked her teeth as she observed an extreme reflex response in Zelda’s right knee. “I cannot explain my ways to you. You will not understand. Stick out your tongue, _ch_ _érie_.”

Zelda did as she was told, though she was still stunned at the thought that she’d be having a boy.

“You can hear this on both sides equally, yes?” said Marie as she snapped her fingers on either side of Zelda’s head.

Zelda didn’t respond. Her eyes were staring right at Marie, but clearly seeing nothing. Lilith pushed Marie a bit to the side so that she could put her hand on Zelda’s shoulder.

“Hey? Are you alright?”

Zelda blinked a few times before her eyes were able to focus again. “Of course. I’m sorry. What was your question, Madame—I mean—Marie?”

“Never mind that, _ch_ _érie_.”

Marie produced a stethoscope as if from thin air. “May I listen to your heart and lungs?”

“Of course,” Zelda said, though she shifted uncomfortably on the table as Marie came closer. It was clear that Marie intended to snake the stethoscope under the fabric of her dress, and so Lilith became hyperaware that the exam was only going to get more intimate from there.

“I should go,” said Lilith as Zelda shivered from the cold press of metal against her chest. “I’ll just be—you know—out there.”

“Wait,” said Zelda, which caused both Marie and Lilith to stop in their tracks. “I… I’d rather you stay. If—if you’re comfortable staying, that is. You don’t have to… you know… watch. I just…” Zelda lost her words for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t want to do this alone.”

Lilith wasn’t sure if she was even _a little bit_ comfortable, but seeing the earnest, pleading look on Zelda’s face as Marie told her to take a deep breath made the decision for her. “I’ll stay.”

“If you are to stay, you will be put to work, _mon amie_ ,” said Marie as she moved to Zelda’s back. “There is a machine in the corner over there. I’m sure you can figure out how to bring it here and turn it on, yes?”

Lilith nodded, almost relieved to be given something to do.

“ _Mon dieu_ , what is this?” said Marie, her face scrunching up in surprise as she removed the stethoscope from beneath the back of Zelda’s dress and instead replaced it with her hand to feel the marred skin herself. Zelda let out a sharp gasp at the unexpected fingers going down the back of her shirt.

Lilith turned around from where she was in the corner, concerned by the sound that Zelda had made.

“ _D_ _ésol_ _ée_. I should not have touched. I was surprised by the… by the scars,” said Marie, her voice genuinely sorry as she immediately removed her fingers once she identified what the uneven flesh under her stethoscope meant.

“No harm done,” said Zelda, but her voice sounded strained, like she was forcing herself to verbally forgive Marie, lest silence imply weakness or shame.

Lilith felt another stab to her chest. Lucifer had told her about the scars on Zelda’s back and how she’d most likely come by them. She felt guilty for being privy to this information without Zelda’s permission.

Marie immediately returned to listening to Zelda’s lungs with the stethoscope, visibly repentant for having overstepped.

“Your heart and lungs are clear, _ma petite puce_ ,” said Marie softly, hooking her stethoscope around her neck. “Will you lie down, s'il vous plaît? I would like to listen to your abdomen, but I will have to lift your dress to do it. May I?”

Zelda nodded, accepting Marie’s help to lower her back onto the table. Lilith brought over the machine, relatively sure she’d turned it on properly despite being quite distracted.

“Do you know how many weeks you are?” asked Marie as she pressed her stethoscope to Zelda’s abdomen, listening for bowel sounds.

“Eleven,” Zelda said, staring at the ornate design on the ceiling and trying very hard not to float away.

“I will not be able to hear the _b_ _éb_ _é’s_ heartbeat with this,” said Marie, holding up her stethoscope. “Not yet. In eight or nine more weeks, it would be possible, but not today.”

“Here’s the machine,” said Lilith, averting her eyes from Zelda’s bare, slightly rounded stomach.

“Merci!” said Marie. “You did not think I would be without the proper tools, eh?”

It was then that Lilith realized it was an ultrasound machine. “Marie, I thought you were done with medicine? Why do you have an ultrasound just sitting around?”

“It is not ‘just sitting around,’ _mon amie_ ,” said Marie as she moved to set up the machine. “I still have a license, do I not? And sometimes women come in here in need of a midwife or a doula. I do not just read tea leaves, eh?”

“I’m not sure I…” Zelda began, but her voice trailed off.

Marie and Lilith stopped what they were doing with the machine to turn to her.

“Not sure of what, Zelda?” said Lilith, aware this wasn’t exactly what she’d thought this visit would involve when she first suggested it.

“I’m not sure I want to see it—him—” Zelda struggled for a moment before repeating: “…it.”

“That is ok, _ma ch_ _érie_ , you do not have to look,” said Marie, “but it is important to do the sonogram to see if the baby is healthy, _n’est-ce pas_?”

“Marie, if she doesn’t want it done, she doesn’t have to—”

“There is no harm if I take a look, but perhaps much harm if I do not,” reasoned Marie, already prepared to slather Zelda’s abdomen with gel.

“But you said—” Zelda began, before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. When her eyes opened again, they were unreadable. “You said that ‘he’ would live. That he’d grow up to look… too much like his father. If you know—if you somehow _feel_ that the baby will survive—that’s… that’s enough for me.”

Lilith held her breath, not knowing what to say. Luckily, Marie was the one who broke the silence.

“Zelda,” Marie said, leaning down so that she could look Zelda in the eye without towering over her. “I am a _vodouisant_ , yes? I see things others do not. I have ways of knowing things impossible for your people to know. But this?” Marie waved the transducer in her hand. “This is the proof, without the vodou, eh?”

Zelda looked from Marie to Lilith with the appearance of a rabbit trapped by a pair of foxes. Lilith wasn’t about to let that continue.

“Zelda,” said Lilith, moving to take her hand. She was surprised at how readily the woman accepted it, considering the circumstances, “it’s okay to not want to see the baby. If you don’t want to know anything about it, you don’t have to. But if you’re still worried that something might be wrong, it could give you some peace of mind to let Marie take a look.”

Zelda’s eyes were wet, but Lilith could see the decision in them.

“Alright, Marie. I’ll do it.”

Just as Marie was slathering Zelda’s stomach with gel, a phone went off.

“That’s mine,” said Zelda, lifting her head up from the table to look for her purse. “Lilith, could you get it? It’s right at your feet. Front pocket. No one ever calls me unless it’s an emergency.”

Lilith did as she was told, retrieving the phone. She was a bit surprised to see the name across the screen:

PRUDENCE

“Is there a reason Prudence would be calling you?” asked Lilith just as Marie pressed the transducer to Zelda’s abdomen.

“Would you be able to answer it?” said Zelda, shutting her eyes. “It might be something about the twins. Faustus is always especially difficult on days when we switch custody.”

Deciding she would much rather take a phone call than intrude on a sonogram, Lilith walked out of the back room and into the front of the shop before accepting the call.

“Hey, Prudence, this is Lilith. Zelda’s a little busy at the moment—”

“Miss Lily?!” came the unmistakable voice of the six-year-old girl who had wormed her way into Lilith’s heart.

“Leticia?” said Lilith, her brow furrowing. “Why do you have Prudence’s phone?”

“Prudence gave it to me and told me to run, so I did! I’m a _really_ good runner.”

Lilith’s blood froze in her veins. “Why did she tell you to run, Leticia?”

“Daddy was being really loud and scary. She told me to run and to call Mama and tell her to come find me!”

“ _Find_ you?” said Lilith, unable to catch her breath as her heart raced.

“Yeah, I’m hiding! I’m a really, really, really good _hider_ too!”

“I’m sure you are, Leticia,” said Lilith, hurrying back to Zelda and Marie, where she registered that Zelda was indeed looking at the sonogram before returning her full attention to the call. “I know you want your mama to come find you, but she’s a little far away right now. Can you call your Aunt Hilda instead? Or the police? Are you in a safe place, Leticia?”

Zelda’s eyes went wide with panic, motioning for Lilith to hand her the phone, but just then she heard what sounded like the phone on Leticia’s end clatter to the ground. “Leticia? Leticia, are you alright? What was that noise?”

Lilith took the phone away from her ear to look at the screen and was dismayed to discover that the call had ended.

“What did she say?” said Zelda, terror in her voice. “Why would Leticia be calling—what’s happened?!?”

“ _Ch_ _érie, calmez-vous_ , _le_ _b_ _éb_ _é_ —”

Lilith redialed Prudence’s number, praying Leticia would pick up, but the phone just rang and rang until it went to voicemail.

_Hi. You’ve reached Prudence Blackwood. Leave a message—or don’t. I probably won’t listen to it anyway. Text me, bitch._

Deciding not to leave a message, Lilith hung up before rushing over to Zelda to help her off the table.

“Leticia’s in trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Marie's voice in this chapter was an absolute joy. And that ending? I am truly evil. (Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments).
> 
> Just for some "setting" background, I based the location of this fic on the town where the Hudson Valley Shakespeare Festival takes place. Driving a car from that location to the upper west side would take at least an hour, maybe longer, depending on NYC traffic. So you can understand why Lilith is telling Leticia that she should call Hilda or the police instead, because it will take them at least another hour to drive back to the Hudson Valley.
> 
> Please, please, please let me know what you think! Your comments are what keep this fic alive. Truly.


	14. Strength of Limit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marie unknowingly reveals the father of Zelda's child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a big, accidental revelation! I hope you let me know what you think of it in the comments.

Zelda’s dress stuck uncomfortably to the gel on her stomach as they made their way slowly to the front of the shop. Lilith filled them in, explaining what Leticia had said just before the call had ended. While Marie was clearly disturbed by what Lilith had to say, she didn’t look convinced that Zelda should be leaving so soon.

“But we are not finished, _ch_ _érie_ ,” said Marie as she followed the frantic women out of her shop.

“It’s an emergency, Marie!” said Lilith, trying not to show her frustration at having to walk at such a slow pace as a result of Zelda not being in the best of health. Realizing she ought to just bring the car around herself, Lilith directed Marie to take over supporting Zelda while she ran ahead. “Wait here! I’ll get the car!”

This left Marie and Zelda standing outside of the shop alone, arms linked, uncertain what to do or say to one another. Zelda’s heart was racing in her chest, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. Marie resisted the urge to put her foot down and insist they finish the medical exam. Zelda was clearly unwell, and Marie had hardly had enough time to do a visual assessment of the fetus.

“I know it is not easy, _ch_ _érie,_ but you must try to stay calm,” said Marie, brushing a few stray locks of hair out of Zelda’s face.

“Calm? How can I be calm?” said Zelda, her voice faint. “I can’t bear to think why Prudence would… would tell Leticia to run away. If he’s hurt them—”

“Do not think of it,” said Marie, squeezing Zelda’s arm in reassurance. “Any child of yours would be clever and strong as they come. And there is still much risk for you and _le b_ _éb_ _é_. Your spirit is troubled. Your body is weak. You must not allow yourself to panic.”

“With respect, Marie, you don’t know what my ex-husband is capable of doing,” said Zelda, placing a hand to her forehead and closing her eyes. She felt especially light-headed; she hated to admit it, but if Marie didn’t have such a strong arm around her own, she’d most likely have hit the concrete by now.

“I did not know you were married to _le diable_ ,” said Marie, a strange note of utter confusion in her voice.

“The devil?” said Zelda, opening her eyes as she wiped beads of sweat from her brow. “I’m not sure I understand. I wasn’t aware you’d met my husband, or even knew that I was married. Did… did Lilith say something about him being… the devil?”

“Lilith told me many stories of him when I was stationed at Fort Benning. She showed me _les photos_. I told her I would shoot him if I ever saw him. He is the devil, yes,” said Marie, scanning the street for Lilith’s car. “A handsome devil, but a devil still. The child might look like him, but he will have your heart, and that is what will keep him from being _un petit démon_.”

The full meaning of Marie’s words didn’t immediately register, but when it did, Zelda felt as if someone had just driven a live wire into her spine. Her whole body flinched as a sharp chill lanced down her back, from the crown of her head to the tips of her fingers. “You can’t mean—you’re not saying—”

“ _Ch_ _érie_?” said Marie, an edge of fear in her eyes as Zelda began to shake. “ _Ch_ _érie,_ what is wrong? You must not panic, Madame. I do not mean to upset you. I did not know why _mon amie_ brought you here until I touched _le b_ _éb_ _é_ and saw for myself, but there is no shame in it, eh? What did I say that has upset you so?”

Zelda bent over at the waist, forcing Marie to let go of her arm as she did. With her hands on her knees, Zelda heaved, as if she were about to be sick.

“ _Tanpri_ , tell me what is wrong?” said Marie, placing a hand on Zelda’s back with alarm. “You must come back inside—”

Just then, the car pulled up. Lilith jumped out, but stopped in her tracks when she saw Zelda doubled over.

“What the hell happened?” said Lilith, rushing over to Zelda. “Are you going to be sick?”

“I think it is a spiritual sickness, not a physical sickness, _mon amie_. I did not mean to upset her. _Je suis tr_ _és, tr_ _és desol_ _ée_ ,” said Marie, trying to guide Zelda back into an upright position once the dry heaves stopped.

“I’m fine,” Zelda ground out, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth despite not having actually expelled anything from her stomach. “Just nauseous. We need to get back to the valley.”

“We don’t have time to waste,” agreed Lilith, taking Zelda’s hand. “But if you’re nauseous, do you really think you can stand an hour in the car?”

Between shuddering breaths, Zelda managed to nod. “Let’s go. Leticia needs me. I’ll be… I’ll be fine in a minute. I just need to sit down.”

“I’m coming with you,” said Marie, using a hand on Zelda’s shoulder to direct her to the backseat of the car so that they could sit together.

Lilith shook her head, still shocked by how she’d only been gone for five minutes, but Zelda was already much worse than when she’d left. “Marie, I don’t think that’s—”

“No time for arguing,” said Marie, opening the car door and ushering Zelda inside. _“Allons-y.”_

Zelda still looked a little green when Lilith adjusted her mirrors, but with Leticia’s voice ringing in her ear, she tore out of the upper west side like a bat out of hell.

“I should call Hilda,” said Zelda, already mid-dial.

“ _Bonne idée_ ,” agreed Marie, having gathered from their earlier conversation that Hilda was Zelda’s sister.

Lilith waited with bated breath, cursing when a minivan cut her off. She hated New York drivers with a burning passion. She’d never known more aggressive motorists in all her traveling around the world.

“Hilda?”

“Zelds! How’s your date going? Did you have a yummy breakfast?”

Lilith could her Hilda’s cheerful voice without much difficulty in the confines of the car.

“Never mind that, Hilda. I need you to go pick up the twins right this instant.”

“Zelda, I know you miss them, but the switch doesn’t happen until 2pm—”

“You don’t understand, Hilda. Leticia called me earlier. Prudence told her to run away. Faustus must’ve been on some sort of rampage. I can only hope Prudence was able to talk some sense into him—but I need you to go there and make sure everything is alright.”

Stunned silence fell for a moment before Hilda seemed to recover from her shock. “Of course, I’ll go—but I doubt Faustus will hand them over early—and certainly not to _me_. You saw how he was yesterday. Where are _you_ , love?”

“I’m…” Zelda’s eyes searched for Lilith’s in the mirror. “I…”

“It’s my fault,” Lilith shouted so that Hilda might hear her as she made an illegal right turn. “I took Zelda to my favorite breakfast place—in Manhattan. I thought it would be… romantic. We’re on our way back now, but it will be a while before we’re in the Hudson Valley.”

Zelda’s eyes widened at the lie, but she accepted the imaginative excuse with as much grace as she could muster. “Did you… did you hear all that, Hilda?”

“I did!” Hilda squealed. “I didn’t realize how _serious_ you two were, Zelds.”

“There will be time to explain all that later, Hilda,” said Zelda, her voice as sharp as she could make it. “I need you to go _now_. I don’t want to get the police involved unless it’s absolutely necessary, but I have a feeling something is very wrong, sister. I need you to help me.”

Hilda’s voice noticeably sobered at that. “Right. I’ll hop to it, then. Safe travels.”

“Thank you, Hildie,” Zelda said, softening her voice before hanging up.

For several seconds, no one spoke. Lilith tried to focus on her driving, Zelda stared at the phone in her hand, and Marie looked at Zelda with increasing horror.

“ _Ch_ _érie_?”

“Yes?”

“This… this ‘Faustus’ you speak of… _he_ is your ex-husband, yes?” said Marie, in a voice Lilith had never heard her use before.

Zelda didn’t respond, but the look on her face was an answer enough.

“I see,” said Marie. She opened her mouth to offer her sincere apologies for having assumed Lucifer was her ex-husband, but Zelda just shook her head, before inclining it in Lilith’s direction, as if to say: _not in front of her._

“I am sure your sister will make him see reason,” Marie said instead, leaning in to pat Zelda on the knee.

“I hope so,” said Zelda, turning to look out the window, “but if she can’t, I will.”


End file.
